Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 10 Oct 1999.
How do mermaids do "the nasty" ?
alt.ascii-art
· 11 messages · 10 Oct 1999 - 18 Oct 1999
i dunno but if they dont they're too lucky lol Christian 'CeeJay' Jensen <REM...@CeeJay.findhere.com> wrote in message news:7toh85$2l4$2...@news.inet.tele.dk... : :: ||||| :: | o o | :: | > | .--- How does a mermaid have a period? :: | . | --' :: \___/ :: __| |__ :: / \ :: | |. .| | :: | | | | :: | |_____| | :: /_| |_\ :: . '. :: '. -. mga :: '-. '. :: "-_ ' :: '-_ '. :: ) "". :: /_-'"""" :: : :And how do they ... you know ... : : .-. .-. : ,ooO()/ ) ( \()Ooo. : | ) | ( ) | ( | : | ( | \ / | ) | : \ ) \_ __) (__ _/ ( / : `-' .ooO() ()Ooo. `-' hjw : :With no (apparent) genitals ?? : :.. I wonder .... : : :BTW who is this Dean Stark fella' ? : :
In article<7toh85$2l4$2...@news.inet.tele.dk>XeMu, Christian 'CeeJay' Jensen <REM...@CeeJay.findhere.com> writes: > >: ||||| >: | o o | >: | > | .--- How does a mermaid have a period? >: | . | --' >: \___/ >: __| |__ >: / \ >: | |. .| | >: | | | | >: | |_____| | >: /_| |_\ >: . '. >: '. -. mga >: '-. '. >: "-_ ' >: '-_ '. >: ) "". >: /_-'"""" >: > >And how do they ... you know ... Well, I was always told mermaids were a sort of oral sex fantasy. I mean, they don't have obvious human genitals in the obvious human place (nor mermen either). How do fish arrange their wedding tackle? I believe fertilisation often takes place externally, i.e. the eggs go out into the water as does the sperm and that's where they fertilise. @@@ @@@ @("} {")@ @(.(.)\__ __/(.).)@ @@@) ( """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ) (@@@ ( . ) dav...@xemu.demon.co.uk ( . ) \ ) / http://www.xemu.demon.co.uk \ ( / \\.-' ,' /index.html ', `-_// // ~-~ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" '~ \\ / \ "Consciousness is a product of the brain no more & no less than earwax is a product of the ear"-Martin Hunt on a.r.s
frog <fro...@adelphia.net> wrote in message news:ej5M3.500$EU5...@server2.news.adelphia.net... > i dunno but if they dont they're too lucky lol > :And how do they ... you know ... > :With no (apparent) genitals ?? > :.. I wonder .... A good question. You see, the mermaid of fantasy is actually just that - a fantasy. No sailor could possibly have any real use for such a creature, as you, yourself, have stumbled onto this question, and been unable to find an answer. Which is quite unsurprising. Fortunately, I have read your cry for understanding, and shall come to your rescue. \\\\ .'_ `. / / (o) \ | \_ ( \ __.' \ ( | \ \`. \ \ \.' ) \ \ /. . \ \ ( _|_ / | | |\ /// | | \ \ | ) > ) | | / / \ | ) / ) |' (_ jro (___"-._.`. Here you see a real mermaid, as they actually appear in nature. Small wonder that sailors are reluctant to describe their "comely features", as they have none. However, I am sure you can clearly see the distinct advantages the true mermaid has over the comely, yet useless variety that has been long immortalized in legend and song. Now, if you were a lonesome sailor, far from home on the deep, blue sea, which would you find the most measure of comfort in spending a cold evening's night with? There does come a time, after all, when blush of cheek gives way to... well, you could always put a bag over her head, no? And when you return at last, to your dear homeland, would you spin tales around this lass of the sea, or make up ones about the "fair maids of unsurpassing beauty, without legs, but rather, having perfect tails, as of fishes, in whom man can find a surfeit of longing and loving"? JRO oglesbee@ mail.fullnet.net
On Sun, 10 Oct 1999, JRO wrote: > frog <fro...@adelphia.net> wrote in message news:ej5M3.500$EU5...@server2.news.adelphia.net... > > i dunno but if they dont they're too lucky lol > > :And how do they ... you know ... > > :With no (apparent) genitals ?? > > :.. I wonder .... > > A good question. > > You see, the mermaid of fantasy is actually just that - a > fantasy. No sailor could possibly have any real use for such > a creature, as you, yourself, have stumbled onto this question, > and been unable to find an answer. Which is quite unsurprising. > > Fortunately, I have read your cry for understanding, and > shall come to your rescue. > > > \\\\ > .'_ `. > / / (o) \ > | \_ ( > \ __.' > \ ( > | \ \`. > \ \ \.' > ) \ \ > /. . \ \ > ( _|_ / | > | |\ /// > | | \ \ > | ) > ) > | | / / > \ | ) / > ) |' (_ > jro (___"-._.`. > > Here you see a real mermaid, as they actually appear in nature. Small > wonder that sailors are reluctant to describe their "comely features", as > they have none. However, I am sure you can clearly see the distinct advantages > the true mermaid has over the comely, yet useless variety that has been long > immortalized in legend and song. Now, if you were a lonesome sailor, far from > home on the deep, blue sea, which would you find the most measure of comfort > in spending a cold evening's night with? > > There does come a time, after all, when blush of cheek gives way to... well, > you could always put a bag over her head, no? And when you return at last, to > your dear homeland, would you spin tales around this lass of the sea, or make > up ones about the "fair maids of unsurpassing beauty, without legs, but rather, > having perfect tails, as of fishes, in whom man can find a surfeit of longing > and loving"? > > JRO This is HILARIOUS!!! // .-`~\((/''-. .` / | \ `. *Geraldine Jones* . /0\ /0\ . we9...@victoria.tc.ca | `. /|\ .` | Happy Halloween \ . . / `. `^^^` .` `-._.|._.-`
: |||||
: | o o |
: | > | .--- How does a mermaid have a period?
: | . | --'
: \___/
: __| |__
: / \
: | |. .| |
: | | | |
: | |_____| |
: /_| |_\
: . '.
: '. -. mga
: '-. '.
: "-_ '
: '-_ '.
: ) "".
: /_-'""""
:
And how do they ... you know ...
.-. .-.
,ooO()/ ) ( \()Ooo.
| ) | ( ) | ( |
| ( | \ / | ) |
\ ) \_ __) (__ _/ ( /
`-' .ooO() ()Ooo. `-' hjw
With no (apparent) genitals ??
.. I wonder ....
BTW who is this Dean Stark fella' ?
: A good question.
:
: You see, the mermaid of fantasy is actually just that - a
: fantasy. No sailor could possibly have any real use for such
: a creature, as you, yourself, have stumbled onto this question,
: and been unable to find an answer. Which is quite unsurprising.
:
: Fortunately, I have read your cry for understanding, and
: shall come to your rescue.
:
:
: \\\\
: .'_ `.
: / / (o) \
: | \_ (
: \ __.'
: \ (
: | \ \`.
: \ \ \.'
: ) \ \
: /. . \ \
: ( _|_ / |
: | |\ ///
: | | \ \
: | ) > )
: | | / /
: \ | ) /
: ) |' (_
: jro (___"-._.`.
:
Arwk!!
: Here you see a real mermaid, as they actually appear in nature. Small
: wonder that sailors are reluctant to describe their "comely features", as
: they have none. However, I am sure you can clearly see the distinct advantages
: the true mermaid has over the comely, yet useless variety that has been long
: immortalized in legend and song. Now, if you were a lonesome sailor, far from
: home on the deep, blue sea, which would you find the most measure of comfort
: in spending a cold evening's night with?
:
: There does come a time, after all, when blush of cheek gives way to...
well,
: you could always put a bag over her head, no? And when you return at last, to
: your dear homeland, would you spin tales around this lass of the sea, or make
: up ones about the "fair maids of unsurpassing beauty, without legs, but
rather,
: having perfect tails, as of fishes, in whom man can find a surfeit of longing
: and loving"?
THAT could be what really happend..
OR ... Mermaids simply have the natural ability to transmute into (completely)
human
form for the purpose of fornication with young human males ... since all
mermaids are
female - Merman only exist in tales (well have YOU ever seen one).
So the next time something smells fishy .. and it IS'NT your dinner (although
you can
eat it) .. stop and wonder .. maybe she's a mermaid ??
While this version migth not be the truth .. i'd LIKE to think it is !!
=:)CeeJay(:=
--
("`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'")
) Kirk : Very funny scotty, now beam down my clothes! (
( ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ )
) .:Newsgroup @ CeeJay.findhere.com:. (
(_..-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-._)
Geraldine Jones <we9...@victoria.tc.ca> wrote in message news:Pine.GSO.3.95.iB1.0.991010221504.8436B-100000@vtn1... > This is HILARIOUS!!! > > // > .-`~\((/''-. > .` / | \ `. *Geraldine Jones* > . /0\ /0\ . we9...@victoria.tc.ca > | `. /|\ .` | Happy Halloween > \ . . / > `. `^^^` .` > `-._.|._.-` > Yes, I suppose it is. Nature is kind of like that; sometimes terrifying, sometimes strange, and sometimes even funny. We see and interpret it in our various ways, but nature... nature has it's own ways. JRO
I could tell you... but I don't think this newsgroups is ready for those
type of lessons. ^_^ I have to go find a picture I saw somewhere, it
answers the question if I can find it...
--
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\XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX\ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz/
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I agree, this is good in a logical and poetic kinda way... Geraldine Jones wrote: > This is HILARIOUS!!! > > On Sun, 10 Oct 1999, JRO wrote: > > frog <fro...@adelphia.net> wrote in message news:ej5M3.500$EU5...@server2.news.adelphia.net... > > > i dunno but if they dont they're too lucky lol > > > :And how do they ... you know ... > > > :With no (apparent) genitals ?? > > > :.. I wonder .... > > > > A good question. > > > > You see, the mermaid of fantasy is actually just that - a > > fantasy. No sailor could possibly have any real use for such > > a creature, as you, yourself, have stumbled onto this question, > > and been unable to find an answer. Which is quite unsurprising. > > > > Fortunately, I have read your cry for understanding, and > > shall come to your rescue. > > > > > > \\\\ > > .'_ `. > > / / (o) \ > > | \_ ( > > \ __.' > > \ ( > > | \ \`. > > \ \ \.' > > ) \ \ > > /. . \ \ > > ( _|_ / | > > | |\ /// > > | | \ \ > > | ) > ) > > | | / / > > \ | ) / > > ) |' (_ > > jro (___"-._.`. > > > > Here you see a real mermaid, as they actually appear in nature. Small > > wonder that sailors are reluctant to describe their "comely features", as > > they have none. However, I am sure you can clearly see the distinct advantages > > the true mermaid has over the comely, yet useless variety that has been long > > immortalized in legend and song. Now, if you were a lonesome sailor, far from > > home on the deep, blue sea, which would you find the most measure of comfort > in spending a cold evening's night with? > > > .-. .-. > ,ooO()/ ) ( \()Ooo. > | ) | ( ) | ( | > | ( | \ / | ) | > \ ) \_ __) (__ _/ ( / > `-' .ooO() ()Ooo. `-' > > > There does come a time, after all, when blush of cheek gives way to... well, > > you could always put a bag over her head, no? And when you return at last, to > > your dear homeland, would you spin tales around this lass of the sea, or make > > up ones about the "fair maids of unsurpassing beauty, without legs, but rather, > > having perfect tails, as of fishes, in whom man can find a surfeit of longing > > and loving"? > > > > JRO > > This is HILARIOUS!!! > > // > .-`~\((/''-. > .` / | \ `. *Geraldine Jones* > . /0\ /0\ . we9...@victoria.tc.ca > | `. /|\ .` | Happy Halloween > \ . . / > `. `^^^` .` > `-._.|._.-` <!doctype html public "-//w3c//dtd html 4.0 transitional//en"> <html> I agree, this is good in a logical and poetic kinda way... <p>Geraldine Jones wrote: <blockquote TYPE=CITE> <pre>This is HILARIOUS!!!</pre> </blockquote> <blockquote TYPE=CITE>On Sun, 10 Oct 1999, JRO wrote: <br>> frog <fro...@adelphia.net> wrote in message <a href="news:ej5M3.500$EU5...@server2.news.adelphia.net">news:ej5M3.500$EU5...@server2.news.adelphia.net</a>... <br>> > i dunno but if they dont they're too lucky lol <br>> > :And how do they ... you know ... <br>> > :With no (apparent) genitals ?? <br>> > :.. I wonder .... <br>> <br>> A good question. <br>> <br>> You see, the mermaid of fantasy is actually just that - a <br>> fantasy. No sailor could possibly have any real use for such <br>> a creature, as you, yourself, have stumbled onto this question, <br>> and been unable to find an answer. Which is quite unsurprising. <br>> <br>> Fortunately, I have read your cry for understanding, and <br>> shall come to your rescue. <br>> <br>> <br>> \\\\ <br>> .'_ `. <br>> / / (o) \ <br>> | \_ ( <br>> \ __.' <br>> \ ( <br>> | \ \`. <br>> \ \ \.' <br>> ) \ \ <br>> /. . \ \ <br>> ( _|_ / | <br>> | |\ /// <br>> | | \ \ <br>> | ) > ) <br>> | | / / <br>> \ | ) / <br>> ) |' (_ <br>> jro (___"-._.`. <br>> <br>> Here you see a real mermaid, as they actually appear in nature. Small <br>> wonder that sailors are reluctant to describe their "comely features", as <br>> they have none. However, I am sure you can clearly see the distinct advantages <br>> the true mermaid has over the comely, yet useless variety that has been long <br>> immortalized in legend and song. Now, if you were a lonesome sailor, far from <br>> home on the deep, blue sea, which would you find the most measure of comfort</blockquote> <blockquote TYPE=CITE>in spending a cold evening's night with? <br> <p><tt> .-. .-.</tt> <br><tt> ,ooO()/ ) ( \()Ooo.</tt> <br><tt> | ) | ( ) | ( |</tt> <br><tt> | ( | \ / | ) |</tt> <br><tt> \ ) \_ __) (__ _/ ( /</tt> <br><tt> `-' .ooO() ()Ooo. `-'</tt> <br> </blockquote> <blockquote TYPE=CITE>> There does come a time, after all, when blush of cheek gives way to... well,</blockquote> <blockquote TYPE=CITE>> you could always put a bag over her head, no? And when you return at last, to</blockquote> <blockquote TYPE=CITE>> your dear homeland, would you spin tales around this lass of the sea, or make <br>> up ones about the "fair maids of unsurpassing beauty, without legs, but rather, <br>> having perfect tails, as of fishes, in whom man can find a surfeit of longing <br>> and loving"? <br>> <br>> JRO <p>This is HILARIOUS!!! <p> // <br> .-`~\((/''-. <br> .` / | \ `. *Geraldine Jones* <br> . /0\ /0\ . we9...@victoria.tc.ca <br> | `. /|\ .` | Happy Halloween <br> \ . . / <br> `. `^^^` .` <br> `-._.|._.-`</blockquote> </html>
well mermaids and doing the nasty... number one all men bitch about the smell of women okay and a mermaid is half fish do dont be surprised when you come out smelling like tuna okay... and two there is suck a thing as oral sex so that how i think the mermaids do the nasty JRO <ogl...@mail.fullnet.net-remove> wrote in article <38016102@206.103.97.91>... > > frog <fro...@adelphia.net> wrote in message news:ej5M3.500$EU5...@server2.news.adelphia.net... > > i dunno but if they dont they're too lucky lol > > :And how do they ... you know ... > > :With no (apparent) genitals ?? > > :.. I wonder .... > > > A good question. > > You see, the mermaid of fantasy is actually just that - a > fantasy. No sailor could possibly have any real use for such > a creature, as you, yourself, have stumbled onto this question, > and been unable to find an answer. Which is quite unsurprising. > > Fortunately, I have read your cry for understanding, and > shall come to your rescue.
In article<01bf1944$8f3d6820$104...@hboake.netcom.ca>XeMu1, Russel Rogers <pit...@hotpop.com> writes: >well mermaids and doing the nasty... >and two there is suck a thing as oral sex ************ Typo of the month award? |~/ |~/ ~~|;'^';-._.-;'^';-._.-;'^';-._.-;'^';-._.-;||';-._.-;'^';||_.-;'^'0-|~~ P | Woof Woof, Glug Glug ||____________|| 0 | P O | Who Drowned the Judge's Dog? | . . . . . . . '----. 0 | O O | answers on *---|_______________ @__o0 | O L |{a href="news:alt.religion.scientology"}{/a}_____________|/_______| L and{a href="http://www.xemu.demon.co.uk/clam/lynx/q0.html"}{/a}XemuSP4(:)
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