Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 17 Apr 1997.
meet the CLAMS
alt.ascii-art
· 7 messages · 17 Apr 1997 - 29 Apr 1997
CLAMS, by Xemu
=========================================
[after the traditional "cows" series....]
.-. .-. .-. .-.
/ @ ' / U ' / O ' / X '
\ ':: \ ':: \ ':: \ '::
'-' '-' '-' '-'
standard dozing amazed drunken
clam clam clam clam
.-. .-. .-. .-.
/ # ' / . ' / + ' / � '
\ ':: \ .:: \ .:: \ .::
'-' '-' '-' '-'
black-eye bored halfwit death-stare
clam clam clam clam
.-. .-. .-. .-.
/ ! ' / ? ' / = ' / $ '
\ .:: \ .:: \ .:: \ .::
'-' '-' '-' '-'
surprised puzzled chinese registrar
clam clam clam clam
__
.-. .-. .-. /__\
/ @ o / @ o / @ ' / U '
\ '.. \ .-- \ .:: \ .::
'-' '--' '-## '-'
#
happy as clam@2pm bearded O.T.clam (with
a clam onThursday clam bacofoil hat)
_
.-. | | .-. .-. '.
/ @ / | | /o ' / @ ' ;
\ < -< |_| \@@@@ \ .::=='
'--\ _ '-' '-'
(_)
tone40 clam reproducing clam smoking
clam by spores a Kool
.-. .-. .-.
/[#]= /[O ' ::' \
\ .:: \ .:: . @ /
'-' '-/ '-'
+-----/--+
cool clam '.__//__.' sea-org australian
(in shades) clam clam.
.-. is there an earlier .-.
/ @ ' / incident? ' o \
\ .:: __ ___ ___ ;;' /
'-' | /|' /|----()__) '-' clam auditting
|/_|_'_|---()__) a pre-clear
.-. are there any overts
/ 0 ' / against greenfly?
\ .:: __ ___ ___
'-' | /|' /|----()__) (#~#) clam auditting
|/_|_'_|---()__) ^ a tomato
[Note for outside of alt.religion.scientology: $cientologists
are called "clams" because LRon Hubbard said human beings evolved
from them, the hinge becoming the hinge of the jaw. They reproduced
by spores, the spores being the predecessors of human teeth. Hence
the cartoon of a clamshell enclosing a face with a toothy grin
like the GIFs on my homepage. Most of the other stuff is obvious
eg they smoke a lot, the registrar is the one who takes money
for courses, "tone40" means "shouting like a loon", they have
an inner group called the Sea Org ("the Damnation Navy") who
wear naval type uniforms; 2pm on Thursday is statistics time,
when they are likely to get punished for low production].
--
(o_.' _0) (o< -! _o) {o_ _d) lunchtime at the Bill & Fish
//\c{} /\\ //\ Y U <\\ //D /\\ _O) [fish saloon--all sorts of
V__)_:::_\_U:::V_/_::::^:::::::V_)_\_V_(\)::::::::::::fish sold here]
http://www.xemu.demon.co.uk/art/ penguins.html
In article <0N8...@xemu.demon.co.uk>, Dave Bird writes: >CLAMS, by Xemu >========================================= >[after the traditional "cows" series....] > > .-. .-. .-. .-. > / @ ' / U ' / O ' / X ' > \ ':: \ ':: \ ':: \ ':: > '-' '-' '-' '-' > > standard dozing amazed drunken > clam clam clam clam Admiral Damien reviews his navy: handle that Ward creep .---. .---. .----- / or it's rice&beans! / [O / 6 < \\ "(*) \ {Ho \ .::__ `-----' .- `----' `---' \ _\| Helena Private limpdick (unable semen). The PR team: .---. .--~~--. .--. / (O / {' "P" {' "� \ .:: \ b '::: \ -= `--## `--..--' `--' # Milne Cory (note ear-ring) Vera They've gone on vacation & left the kids in charge of handling ARS: .-~~O .-~~b. <3' < ':: < .-- `~~~~ `""""" Mikey, age3 Saussage, age 10 Ester no-hope -- (o_.' _0) (o< -! _o) {o_ _d) lunchtime at the Bill & Fish //\c{} /\\ //\ Y U <\\ //D /\\ _O) [fish saloon--all sorts of V__)_:::_\_U:::V_/_::::^:::::::V_)_\_V_(\)::::::::::::fish sold here] http://www.xemu.demon.co.uk/art/ penguins.html
In article <o7x...@xemu.demon.co.uk>, Dave Bird---St Hippo of Augustine <dav...@xemu.demon.co.uk> writes: > Admiral Damien reviews his navy: > > handle that Ward creep .---. .---. > .----- / or it's rice&beans! / [O / 6 > < \\ "(*) \ {Ho \ .::__ > `-----' .- `----' `---' \ > _\| MicroClams(clamspores): <@(*)> <@_= double plate shown: <E" <F" <K" <3' <B" <{" <-" <=" <--" top plate shown: <^" <~" bottom plate shown <_" <~_" sideways: closed (|) open {:} bearded #{:}# ### front view .~@@~. back view _-~~-_ '--' ~--~ -- ^-^-^-@@-^-;-^ http://www.xemu.demon.co.uk/ (..)__u news:alt.smoking.mooses
MEMORIAL to DUKE
Duke he was a Good Dog
he never stole or lied
simple were his wants and needs
why he even slept outside
He was the Judge's buddy
that was his great mistake
that and being friendly
when he met up with a snake
Brave Killer Clam came to him
a Creepin in the Night
Holy Hubbard's honor was at stake
the Org said This is Right
They needed the goods
on a dirty Wog
the right to yell Unfair Judgement!
cause you think we killed your dog!
Here Boy. Good Boy! TBone?
said Ron's Robotic Fool
and rewarded good old Friendly Duke
with a drowning in the Pool
The one who did it knows that
He is a stinking Rat
He knows Duke waits in Doggie Heaven
Where Clams show up as Cats
If there's a Doggie Heaven
I hope Ron's there with a scoop
and all the Good Dog Angels
Make Ronald eat their Poop
So here's a toast to Good Old Duke
how he lived and how he died
because a bunch of Yuppie creeps
listened when Ronny Lied
And another toast to Scientology
raise glass up to your lip
may any Clam who planned this
go down with Ronny's Ship
>> Admiral Damien reviews his navy: >> >> handle that Ward creep .---. .---. >> .----- / or it's rice&beans! / [O / 6 >> < \\ "(*) \ {Ho \ .::__ >> `-----' .- `----' `---' \ >> _\| > >MicroClams(clamspores): <@(*)> <@_= TWO CLAMS, lost in the middle of the desert... quick, how much money have you got in your wallet? $7500---but why?? / \ <K' 'Z> ..............\................................................ \ now just think of a course that costs that much, and within 15 minutes the registrar will find us. (this joke originally by Richmann). how many clams does it take to change a lightbulb? / <=@> "^> / none: the lightbulb must find $80,000 dollars to become clear, then it will have the selfdetermination to change itself. OR.... twelve: one to change the bulb itself, and eleven more to process the routing forms. why do clams never have coz they chucked the little doggie all 4 players at monopoly? in the pool! / \ <3' <(*)@> Clamz meets snaylz I may move slowly by applying the teknology but I get to see the world of LRon Hubbub I have \ / learned to be _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ____@/ '==> stuck on a rock and go nowhere LRon Hubbub public relations teknology (1) (2) (3) .-~~-. .-~~-. .-~~-. ; < ..@ .- < ..@ . < ..@ .- '-..-| '-..-| : '-..-| |____ |____ |__ _ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~-~~ [ clam, BLAM, thank you mam! ] -- n * ."""@__ so if ever you cross the cult of clambots '..........' ...o be sure your dog has waterwings : .'""""' and should they come creeping round your garden : : a rotweiler is just the thing : :""""""": : (duk) (e ) they're---drowning my doggie in the poo-l :_'. :_'. those clams with the slimy white trail (_) (_) he's under the waves all but his tai-l i do hope that doggie can swim...
_.-@~@-._ _.-0~0-._
'-...-' ~.- -.~
( )
/ '-...-'
/ \
What's with Damien sent him a sicilian message:
judge whyte? a parcel with a dogfish in it.
--
.-~~-. ; Operation
< ...@ .-
`-..-| FOOT-BULLET
|__ _
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ (clam, Blam, thank you ma'm)
In article <5k2o5o$4t...@mtinsc04.worldnet.att.net>, Rev IM Knott <IMK...@worldnet.att.net> writes: > MEMORIAL to DUKE > >Duke he was a Good Dog >he never stole or lied >simple were his wants and needs >why he even slept outside Nice one. Does anyone remember the full lyric to the David Bowie song Sufragrette City? ("Clam, BLAM, thank you ma'm: op-uh-RAY-shun foot-BULL-et, yeah! op-uh-RAY-shun foot-BULL-et, yeah!") -- LRon Hubbub public relations teknology (1) (2) (3) .-~~-. .-~~-. .-~~-. ; < ..@ .- < ..@ . < ..@ .- `-..-| `-..-| : `-..-| |____ |____ |__ _ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~-~~ [ clam, BLAM, thank you ma'm! ]
About this thread.
These messages were posted publicly to the newsgroup
alt.ascii-art
in 1997 and are mirrored here unchanged as part of the Historic Archives – only email addresses are masked.
The artwork and text belong to their original authors: if you copy a piece, keep the artist's initials or signature intact and credit them where you can.
Are you one of the authors? Contact us to get your posts attributed, connected to your artist profile, or removed.
Report this message
Help us keep the archive clean and accurate. Reports are reviewed by a person – nothing is changed automatically.