Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 11 Nov 2005.
[PIC] Paris Riots
alt.ascii-art
· 45 messages · 11 Nov 2005 - 24 Nov 2005
I loved the Paris riots post where someone had copy and pasted the
ascii art of others together to get the final work.
And then the other day I thought of doing this:
##
____
______...-----'_'____\.
_____.....----==---'\|-----'''' \
/--------''''' ____ | \
/ __..--- | .-'' \|\ \-___
/| | || | __ | \ ____..-' `---._
// | || | [__]| |__...----'' `-.__
_______//| | || |______\\| \ == _____ ____..---'''' \
/_______/ | `-------'| `\ |==. ``---.--' .-\\\\\\\\\| )
| | [-] |[-] | // | [ ] ( )|||||||||_'|
| \ | |// .------- \_____`.----'' \ ()|
| _____ \ | ___ |` / ____\_ | (_) |__..-' |
\ / \ \ ____..-| -----''' | / .-' `-_|_ _|
| / _--'-\ \ \ | | / ___ \ | ____:F_P:-''/
| | /---_ `-.______|__...------'/ // .-' `\ \|_/ __/_-/
\| / .-. \ _ `--... .===== --' | | | .-. | | ____---'/ |
| / \ \ \`-____ // \ ---'_| | ( ) | | `--' /
| | ( )| | |__\__ || | \ \ `-' / |-'\ /
\ \ / | | _||____.----. \ `-.__.' / `--.__.-'
\ `--' / / / | |_ ) \_ _/
\____/__/ `___\____//.\' `------'
\_/ \_/
The American media has failed us again by not acuratly reporting the
news.
Every 1400 cars burned in Paris is like having 5 cars burned in
America. So these riots aren't much worse than when the Chicago Bulls
win a ball game and the fans celebrate in the streets.
:F_P:#################################Thu Nov 10 2005#################
____
______...-----'_'____\.
_____.....----==---'\|-----'''' \
/--------''''' ____ | \
/ __..--- | .-'' \|\ \-___
/| | || | __ | \ ____..-' `---._
// | || | [__]| |__...----'' `-.__
_______//| | || |______\\| \ == _____ ____..---'''' \
/_______/ | `-------'| `\ |==. ``---.--' .-\\\\\\\\\| )
| | [-] |[-] | // | [ ] ( )|||||||||_'|
| \ | |// .------- \_____`.----'' \ ()|
| _____ \ | ___ |` / ____\_ | (_) |__..-' |
\ / \ \ ____..-| -----''' | / .-' `-_|_ _|
| / _--'-\ \ \ | | / ___ \ | ____:F_P:-''/
| | /---_ `-.______|__...------'/ // .-' `\ \|_/ __/_-/
\| / .-. \ _ `--..__\___...-----' | | | .-. | | ____---'/ |
| / \ \ \`-_____....-----------'_| | ( ) | | `--' /
| | ( )| | |__\________/__..-' \ \ `-' / |-'\ /
\ \ / | | \_ _/ \ `-.__.' / `--.__.-'
\ `--' / / `---' \_ _/
\____/__/ `------'
:F_P:#################################Thu Nov 10 2005#################
_________
/ ________)
/ / ||
/ / ||
/ / ||
| | / ||
| | /\_|'-__
_|_/------' | \ Is it a Faux_Pseudo car?
/ | | __ |) Or is it a Fisher Price car?
| | :F_P:// \`/
`------------| () |
\__/ \__/
:F_P:#################################Thu Nov 10 2005#################
--
.-')) fauxascii.com ('-. | It's a damn poor mind that
' ..- .:" ) ( ":. -.. ' | can only think of one way to
((,,_;'.;' UIN=66618055 ';. ';_,,)) | spell a word.
((_.YIM=Faux_Pseudo :._)) | - Andrew Jackson
Faux_Pseudo wrote: > ## > > ____ > ______...-----'_'____\. > _____.....----==---'\|-----'''' \ > /--------''''' ____ | \ > / __..--- | .-'' \|\ \-___ > /| | || | __ | \ ____..-' `---._ > // | || | [__]| |__...----'' `-.__ > _______//| | || |______\\| \ == _____ ____..---'''' \ > /_______/ | `-------'| `\ |==. ``---.--' .-\\\\\\\\\| ) > | | [-] |[-] | // | [ ] ( )|||||||||_'| > | \ | |// .------- \_____`.----'' \ ()| > | _____ \ | ___ |` / ____\_ | (_) |__..-' | > \ / \ \ ____..-| -----''' | / .-' `-_|_ _| > | / _--'-\ \ \ | | / ___ \ | ____:F_P:-''/ > | | /---_ `-.______|__...------'/ // .-' `\ \|_/ __/_-/ > \| / .-. \ _ `--... .===== --' | | | .-. | | ____---'/ | > | / \ \ \`-____ // \ ---'_| | ( ) | | `--' / > | | ( )| | |__\__ || | \ \ `-' / |-'\ / > \ \ / | | _||____.----. \ `-.__.' / `--.__.-' > \ `--' / / / | |_ ) \_ _/ > \____/__/ `___\____//.\' `------' > \_/ \_/ > > The American media has failed us again by not acuratly reporting the > news. > Every 1400 cars burned in Paris is like having 5 cars burned in > America. So these riots aren't much worse than when the Chicago Bulls > win a ball game and the fans celebrate in the streets. > Touch'e. Very nice. -- Bertrand
Faux_Pseudo wrote: > > The American media has failed us again by not acuratly reporting the > news. > Every 1400 cars burned in Paris is like having 5 cars burned in > America. So these riots aren't much worse than when the Chicago Bulls > win a ball game and the fans celebrate in the streets. > > :F_P:#################################Thu Nov 10 2005################# > What is the relevance of that point? If 1400 Paris cars is equal to 5 Chicago cars...does this mean that the citizens of Paris own and operate 280 times as many cars as the people of Chicago, or America in total? Where the *world* media *is* failing...is in its general refusal to point out that the majority of the rioters are members of that "peaceful" pseudo-religion known as Islam. -- Greg Heilers Registered Linux user #328317 - SlackWare 10.1 (2.6.10) ..... Hey! Let's do that 2,000-pound man thing. I'll be that Carl Reiner guy, and you be what's-his-face. -- Homer Simpson Homer vs. Patty and Selma
Greg Heilers wrote: > > What is the relevance of that point? If 1400 Paris cars is equal to > 5 Chicago cars...does this mean that the citizens of Paris own and operate > 280 times as many cars as the people of Chicago, or America in total? He's making a point about the size of American cars. The same 'point' every single lame comedian on TV has been making for 3 years at least. "SUVs are sooo big LOL I am so fucking funny" > Where the *world* media *is* failing...is in its general refusal to point > out that the majority of the rioters are members of that "peaceful" > pseudo-religion known as Islam. > An excellent point. Religion in general has worn out its welcome, it's about time we came up with something more relevant to today's society than imaginary creatures to make the people behave. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
_.-In alt.ascii-art, Iconoclast wrote the following -._ > He's making a point about the size of American cars. The same 'point' every > single lame comedian on TV has been making for 3 years at least. "SUVs are > sooo big LOL I am so fucking funny" Exactly. The thing I find funny are the replies to it. In the three places it was posted I have had more direct replies to it than /any/ other ascii art I have ever made. Three of them where just like his reply: 'I don't get it'. The rest/majority of the comments have all been positive and thought it was funny. You are absolutely correct that the joke offers nothing new. It is the same old tired joke that has been said over and over again. All I did was link it to a news story and include some graphics to show the perceived difference in size. Which makes me wonder: Is this one funny because it is based on a joke everyone already knows? Is this the first joke I have made that /most/ people can understand. > An excellent point. Religion in general has worn out its welcome, it's about > time we came up with something more relevant to today's society than > imaginary creatures to make the people behave. I am sure we could get a few intelligent people together and design a good replacement. Hmm... what could one call it... something that isn't religion yet isn't... science... hmm... OA: I couldn't find my white house so I drew another one: cc c __ ----.-'`-.---- __ c c ccCCcCc________||_|.-' `-.|_||__________ccCc c cCCcCCcc============/============\============cCccCCcc cccCCCCCc__ __ __ __|| || || || __ __ __ __ccCcccC cccCCc| || || || ||||[]||[]||[]|| || || || || | ccc || | __ __ __ __|| ||__|| || __ __ __ __ | || || | || || || ||||[]|| ||[]|| || || || || | || || |%%%;%%;%%;;%|| || || ||%;%%;%;;%;%%;| || %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%:F_P:% -- .-')) fauxascii.com ('-. | It's a damn poor mind that ' ..- .:" ) ( ":. -.. ' | can only think of one way to ((,,_;'.;' UIN=66618055 ';. ';_,,)) | spell a word. ((_.YIM=Faux_Pseudo :._)) | - Andrew Jackson
Iconoclast wrote: > Greg Heilers wrote: > >> >> What is the relevance of that point? If 1400 Paris cars is equal to >> 5 Chicago cars...does this mean that the citizens of Paris own and >> operate 280 times as many cars as the people of Chicago, or America in >> total? > > He's making a point about the size of American cars. The same 'point' > every single lame comedian on TV has been making for 3 years at least. > "SUVs are sooo big LOL I am so fucking funny" > Ahhh...I guess I can see the reference now, but as you said...the level of witty humor is about "zero" on the laughter scale. Perhaps if this comic(s) had refrained from using the Chicago Bulls reference; as those situations occur in the inner-city urban areas....a far cry from the "soccer mom" areas where one finds the plethora of SUV's. The funny thing is the latest news reports stating that "car torching" has been a *fad* in France for quite some time now. It's just one more example illustrating the point that phrases such as "French culture" and "French civilization" are the epitome of oxymorons. >> Where the *world* media *is* failing...is in its general refusal to point >> out that the majority of the rioters are members of that "peaceful" >> pseudo-religion known as Islam. >> > > An excellent point. Religion in general has worn out its welcome, it's > about time we came up with something more relevant to today's society than > imaginary creatures to make the people behave. > -- Greg Heilers Registered Linux user #328317 - SlackWare 10.1 (2.6.10) ..... I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty, and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called `The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.' -- Homer Simpson The Springfield Files
_.-In alt.ascii-art, Greg Heilers wrote the following -._ > Ahhh...I guess I can see the reference now, but as you said...the level of > witty humor is about "zero" on the laughter scale. Perhaps if this > comic(s) had refrained from using the Chicago Bulls reference; as those > situations occur in the inner-city urban areas....a far cry from the > "soccer mom" areas where one finds the plethora of SUV's. As someone who has spent a lot of time living in some really bad "inner-city urban areas" (I prefer the term ghetto) I can tell you that there are plenty of SUV's there. These people may have no job, no hope and no future but they have invested heavily in their cars. I used the Bulls reference because it, and sporting events like it, are the most common cause of car burnings in the States. While we may have an occasional Rodney King type event ever decade or so we have riots resulting from B-Ball all the time. -- .-')) fauxascii.com ('-. | It's a damn poor mind that ' ..- .:" ) ( ":. -.. ' | can only think of one way to ((,,_;'.;' UIN=66618055 ';. ';_,,)) | spell a word. ((_.YIM=Faux_Pseudo :._)) | - Andrew Jackson
Faux_Pseudo wrote: > _.-In alt.ascii-art, Iconoclast wrote the following -._ >> He's making a point about the size of American cars. The same 'point' >> every single lame comedian on TV has been making for 3 years at least. >> "SUVs are sooo big LOL I am so fucking funny" > > Exactly. The thing I find funny are the replies to it. In the three > places it was posted I have had more direct replies to it than /any/ > other ascii art I have ever made. Three of them where just like his > reply: 'I don't get it'. The rest/majority of the comments have all > been positive and thought it was funny. People like what they recognize. The press and entertainment media has been telling people for years that they're supposed to hate SUVs, goofing on SUVs and SUV owners is familiar and therefore comfortable. Like jokes about bad airplane food. > You are absolutely correct that the joke offers nothing new. It is the > same old tired joke that has been said over and over again. All I did > was link it to a news story and include some graphics to show the > perceived difference in size. Well at least you admit it. > > Which makes me wonder: Is this one funny because it is based on a > joke everyone already knows? Is this the first joke I have made that > /most/ people can understand. IMHO nothing's funny if you can see it coming a mile away. > >> An excellent point. Religion in general has worn out its welcome, it's >> about time we came up with something more relevant to today's society >> than imaginary creatures to make the people behave. > > I am sure we could get a few intelligent people together and design a > good replacement. Hmm... what could one call it... something that > isn't religion yet isn't... science... hmm... How about common sense and decency? -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
Greg Heilers wrote: > > Ahhh...I guess I can see the reference now, but as you said...the level of > witty humor is about "zero" on the laughter scale. Perhaps if this > comic(s) had refrained from using the Chicago Bulls reference; as those > situations occur in the inner-city urban areas....a far cry from the > "soccer mom" areas where one finds the plethora of SUV's. Meh, I prefer comics that break new ground, not cover the same area so much they dig a tread in the floor. George Carlin = funny, Jerry Seinfeld = crap. > The funny thing is the latest news reports stating that "car torching" > has been a *fad* in France for quite some time now. It's just one more > example illustrating the point that phrases such as "French culture" and > "French civilization" are the epitome of oxymorons. > Don't forget 'French military victory'. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
_.-In alt.ascii-art, Iconoclast wrote the following -._ > IMHO nothing's funny if you can see it coming a mile away. I have this urge to call you a liar because the above sentence means that you have never laughed at a Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner, Tom and Jerry, Simpsons, South Park or any other cartoon that has ever existed. >> I am sure we could get a few intelligent people together and design a >> good replacement. Hmm... what could one call it... something that >> isn't religion yet isn't... science... hmm... > > How about common sense and decency? That will never work because, as Voltaire said: "Common sense is not so common." Don't even get me started on decency. -- .-')) fauxascii.com ('-. | It's a damn poor mind that ' ..- .:" ) ( ":. -.. ' | can only think of one way to ((,,_;'.;' UIN=66618055 ';. ';_,,)) | spell a word. ((_.YIM=Faux_Pseudo :._)) | - Andrew Jackson
Faux_Pseudo wrote: > _.-In alt.ascii-art, Iconoclast wrote the following -._ >> IMHO nothing's funny if you can see it coming a mile away. > > I have this urge to call you a liar because the above sentence means > that you have never laughed at a Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner, Tom > and Jerry, Simpsons, South Park or any other cartoon that has ever > existed. Perhaps I should've been more specific. I was talking about cerebral comedy, like a stand up act, not slapstick. It's really really hard to fuck up slapstick. As for The Simpsons and South Park, they're constantly breaking new ground and coming up with new ways to amuse. They do more than repeat someone else's joke for the umpteenth time. I wouldn't consider either one of them played out. >>> I am sure we could get a few intelligent people together and design a >>> good replacement. Hmm... what could one call it... something that >>> isn't religion yet isn't... science... hmm... >> >> How about common sense and decency? > > That will never work because, as Voltaire said: > "Common sense is not so common." > Don't even get me started on decency. > Common sense can be hard to come by if you're raised to believe that a magic man in the sky created you out of dust and is watching everything you do, every minute of every day. Don't even get me started on communion or the trinity. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
_.-In alt.ascii-art, Iconoclast wrote the following -._ > Perhaps I should've been more specific. I was talking about cerebral comedy, > like a stand up act, not slapstick. It's really really hard to fuck up > slapstick. As for The Simpsons and South Park, they're constantly breaking > new ground and coming up with new ways to amuse. They do more than repeat > someone else's joke for the umpteenth time. I wouldn't consider either one > of them played out. I didn't say anything about them being played out. I was, to use SP as an example, thinking the deaths of Kenny. Everyone sees them coming and everyone still laughs. You were every explicit in that you /never/ find a joke you can see coming to be funny. > Common sense can be hard to come by if you're raised to believe that a magic > man in the sky created you out of dust and is watching everything you do, > every minute of every day. Don't even get me started on communion or the > trinity. This is alt.ascii-art and as such all things are up for grabs but I beg of you please don't taint this group with Catholicism[0]. Even Tran stays away from that one. [0] The worship of Cathol -- .-')) fauxascii.com ('-. | It's a damn poor mind that ' ..- .:" ) ( ":. -.. ' | can only think of one way to ((,,_;'.;' UIN=66618055 ';. ';_,,)) | spell a word. ((_.YIM=Faux_Pseudo :._)) | - Andrew Jackson
Living in France, I didn't know the joke previously, and I found it very funny (it is true, cars here are small, especially the "Smart" brand). BoD
In article <Ae7ff.543$nA2...@newssvr22.news.prodigy.net>, Iconoclast wrote: > > example illustrating the point that phrases such as "French culture" and > > "French civilization" are the epitome of oxymorons. > > > > Don't forget 'French military victory'. > Austerlitz? Jena and Auerstedt? What was that one which broke the Moor's "trail of victories, and without which we'd all be more-or-less Muslim? Battle of Tours, that's the one. -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
In article <437d9d5b$0$2171$626...@news.free.fr>, BoD wrote: > and I found it very > funny (it is true, cars here are small, especially the "Smart" brand). > What I find funny is the unquestioned assumptions that hide behind the stereotypes. Whenever I get into conversation with Americans about transport (generally a fruitless and uninteresting task in itself), I find lots of blank incomprehension from the Americans that people can actually choose to live without a form of mechanised personal transport. Eventually it looks as if that is a function of having *lots* of land available for urban sprawl, which renders shared transport (mass transit systems, public transport, the bus, whatever) at a comparative disadvantage compared to personal transport. Which is going to make it a terrible experience for the Americans when they have no option but to reduce their energy and resource consumption. -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
_.-In alt.ascii-art, Aidan Karley wrote the following -._ > Whenever I get into conversation with Americans about transport > (generally a fruitless and uninteresting task in itself), I find lots of > blank incomprehension from the Americans that people can actually choose > to live without a form of mechanised personal transport. I can identify with that. I am an American who is, buy a mixture of chance and design, 31 years old and never learned to drive. Some people see the ways I wasit my time (ascii etc) and don't understand how I can laugh at them when they talk about how the bus takes too much time etc when I have more free time then they do. -- .-')) fauxascii.com ('-. | It's a damn poor mind that ' ..- .:" ) ( ":. -.. ' | can only think of one way to ((,,_;'.;' UIN=66618055 ';. ';_,,)) | spell a word. ((_.YIM=Faux_Pseudo :._)) | - Andrew Jackson
Aidan Karley wrote: > In article <Ae7ff.543$nA2...@newssvr22.news.prodigy.net>, Iconoclast > wrote: >> > example illustrating the point that phrases such as "French culture" >> > and "French civilization" are the epitome of oxymorons. >> > >> >> Don't forget 'French military victory'. >> > Austerlitz? > Jena and Auerstedt? > What was that one which broke the Moor's "trail of victories, and > without which we'd all be more-or-less Muslim? Battle of Tours, that's the > one. > They've had hundreds of years to forget about those. What about World War 2? Vietnam? What has France won lately? -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
In article <eSFff.5748$0h5.3960@dukeread10>, Faux_Pseudo wrote: > I can identify with that. I am an American who is, buy a mixture of > chance and design, 31 years old and never learned to drive. > What's that knocking on your door? It's the House Commission on unAmerican activities, coming to take you away. Have the Dead Kennedy's re-re-released "Holiday in Cambodia" for Guantanamo yet? [no, but I'm far from the first person to think along those lines] -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
In article <DIIff.655$4o7...@newssvr24.news.prodigy.net>, Iconoclast wrote: > >> > >> Don't forget 'French military victory'. > >> > > Austerlitz? > > Jena and Auerstedt? > > What was that one which broke the Moor's "trail of victories, and > > without which we'd all be more-or-less Muslim? Battle of Tours, that's the > > one. > > > > They've had hundreds of years to forget about those. What about World War 2? > Vietnam? What has France won lately? > I don't see any time limit in your original slander. But if you're wanting to look at recent matters then comparing the couple of thousand (max) that the French lost in Vietnam to the nearly 60 thousand Americans that died there would make the French experience a victory by comparison. Oh well, it'll all look so much better when it's obscured by the 10th anniversary of blundering into Iraq. -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
_.-In alt.ascii-art, Aidan Karley wrote the following -._ > What's that knocking on your door? It's the House Commission on > unAmerican activities, coming to take you away. Have the Dead Kennedy's > re-re-released "Holiday in Cambodia" for Guantanamo yet? I think it would be better done as "Guantanamo The Amusement Park" Thrill as Muslim Clerics fast them selves to death. -- .-')) fauxascii.com ('-. | It's a damn poor mind that ' ..- .:" ) ( ":. -.. ' | can only think of one way to ((,,_;'.;' UIN=66618055 ';. ';_,,)) | spell a word. ((_.YIM=Faux_Pseudo :._)) | - Andrew Jackson
In article <4iOff.5774$0h5.1437@dukeread10>, Faux_Pseudo wrote: > I think it would be better done as "Guantanamo The Amusement Park" > > Thrill as Muslim Clerics fast them selves to death. > There would be two sides to that display (? I'm not up on Disney park terminology) - the same display from the other side being titled "Quake as martyrs are made to inspire the murder of your grandchildren unborn!" -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
Aidan Karley wrote: > I don't see any time limit in your original slander. But if you're > wanting to look at recent matters then comparing the couple of thousand > (max) that the French lost in Vietnam to the nearly 60 thousand Americans > that died there would make the French experience a victory by comparison. Yeah, they dragged us in then cut and run when it got tough. Those are some brave people, the French. Such great allies, too, they really helped us out there. > Oh well, it'll all look so much better when it's obscured by the > 10th > anniversary of blundering into Iraq. > I don't think the Iraq war will outlive the Bush administration. Once he's gone and we get somebody (hopefully) sensible to run the country we'll tie things up and get the hell out. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
Faux_Pseudo wrote: > > Thrill as Muslim Clerics fast them selves to death. > No big loss. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
In article <_U2gf.1715$rq3...@newssvr19.news.prodigy.com>, Iconoclast wrote: > Once he's > gone and we get somebody (hopefully) sensible to run the country we'll tie > things up and get the hell out. > <SIGH> -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
"Iconoclast" <non...@bogusemailaddress.com> wrote in message news:DIIff.655$4o7...@newssvr24.news.prodigy.net... > Aidan Karley wrote: > >> In article <Ae7ff.543$nA2...@newssvr22.news.prodigy.net>, Iconoclast >> wrote: >>> > example illustrating the point that phrases such as "French culture" >>> > and "French civilization" are the epitome of oxymorons. >>> > >>> >>> Don't forget 'French military victory'. >>> >> Austerlitz? >> Jena and Auerstedt? >> What was that one which broke the Moor's "trail of victories, and >> without which we'd all be more-or-less Muslim? Battle of Tours, that's >> the >> one. >> > > They've had hundreds of years to forget about those. What about World War > 2? > Vietnam? What has France won lately? War isn't a competition!!!
Ross Marchant wrote: > "Iconoclast" <non...@bogusemailaddress.com> wrote in message > news:DIIff.655$4o7...@newssvr24.news.prodigy.net... >> Aidan Karley wrote: >> >>> In article <Ae7ff.543$nA2...@newssvr22.news.prodigy.net>, Iconoclast >>> wrote: >>>> > example illustrating the point that phrases such as "French culture" >>>> > and "French civilization" are the epitome of oxymorons. >>>> > >>>> >>>> Don't forget 'French military victory'. >>>> >>> Austerlitz? >>> Jena and Auerstedt? >>> What was that one which broke the Moor's "trail of victories, and >>> without which we'd all be more-or-less Muslim? Battle of Tours, that's >>> the >>> one. >>> >> >> They've had hundreds of years to forget about those. What about World War >> 2? >> Vietnam? What has France won lately? > > War isn't a competition!!! I disagree, I think that's exactly what it is. After all, you have a winner and a loser, right? -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
> I disagree, I think that's exactly what it is. After all, you have a winner > and a loser, right? IN a war, yes. But you don't have a running tally of who's best at slaughtering people. That just doesn't go over too well with people these days. :) (Vlad "Son of The Dragon" Tepes might disagree, but his psychological warfare is a bit on the crude side.) -- Khamura Jan Willms
In article <J6bgf.1811$nA2...@newssvr22.news.prodigy.net>, Iconoclast wrote: > I disagree, I think that's exactly what it is. After all, you have a winner > and a loser, right? > No. You have a loser nation. You have another loser nation. Then you have the bystander nations, who generally lose (rare exception - when a bystander moves in and rapes one of the main losers AND gains significant materiel and/ or technology in the process. Whether this is a net win or a further loss would require the attention of a swarm of moral accountants). Your trade and business systems are damaged for years or decades to come, which most people who aren't involved in war profiteering consider to be a loss. There are also significant numbers of individual people who lose their limbs, their health (I remember a gamekeeper, "Sparrow" by nickname because he spoke so quietly. He taught me a lot about nature and woodland care. Chlorine.), their lives, or their loved ones. There are some politicians who benefit from wars. This is generally considered a loss. -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
On Mon, 21 Nov 2005 13:00:05 GMT, Aidan Karley
<doI...@validEMAILaddressTOa.NEWS.group> wrote:
Piss off,
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In article <qqm...@4ax.com>, Default User wrote: > Piss off, > __ ______ ______ ______ ______ __ > /_/\ /_____/\ /_____/\ /_____/\ /_____/\ /__/\ > \:\ \ \:::_ \ \\::::_\/_\::::_\/_\:::_ \ \ \.:\ \ > \:\ \ \:\ \ \ \\:\/___/\\:\/___/\\:(_) ) )_\::\ \ > \:\ \____\:\ \ \ \\_::._\:\\::___\/_\: __ `\ \\__\/_ > \:\/___/\\:\_\ \ \ /____\:\\:\____/\\ \ `\ \ \ /__/\ > \_____\/ \_____\/ \_____\/ \_____\/ \_\/ \_\/ \__\/ > No. Have a nice day, unless you live in a war zone. By the way, I'm puzzled as to why you think I'm a loser. After all, I've got a beautiful wife, a lovely daughter, I live in a (more or less) civilised country in a part of the world where the majority of people are against wars in general (and wars that involve them in particular). And it's comfortably temperate outside (5~8 centigrade). -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
On Mon, 21 Nov 2005 19:00:04 GMT, Aidan Karley <doI...@validEMAILaddressTOa.NEWS.group> wrote: >the majority of >people are against wars in general (and wars that involve them in >particular) Go fuck yourself, ______ ______ __ __ __ ________ ______ ______ __ /_____/\ /_____/\ /_//_//_/\ /_______/\ /_____/\ /_____/\ /__/\ \:::__\/ \:::_ \ \\:\\:\\:\ \\::: _ \ \\:::_ \ \ \:::_ \ \\.:\ \ \:\ \ __\:\ \ \ \\:\\:\\:\ \\::(_) \ \\:(_) ) )_\:\ \ \ \\::\ \ \:\ \/_/\\:\ \ \ \\:\\:\\:\ \\:: __ \ \\: __ `\ \\:\ \ \ \\__\/_ \:\_\ \ \\:\_\ \ \\:\\:\\:\ \\:.\ \ \ \\ \ `\ \ \\:\/.:| | /__/\ \_____\/ \_____\/ \_______\/ \__\/\__\/ \_\/ \_\/ \____/_/ \__\/ BTW - this is an ASCII-ART group. This is not a place for smelly hippies to whine about how terrible "war" is.
kmr wrote: >> I disagree, I think that's exactly what it is. After all, you have a >> winner and a loser, right? > > IN a war, yes. But you don't have a running tally of who's best at > slaughtering people. That just doesn't go over too well with people > these days. :) (Vlad "Son of The Dragon" Tepes might disagree, but his > psychological warfare is a bit on the crude side.) > > -- > Khamura > Jan Willms Don't delude yourself. Might makes right, always has, perhaps always will. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
Aidan Karley wrote: > In article <J6bgf.1811$nA2...@newssvr22.news.prodigy.net>, Iconoclast > wrote: >> I disagree, I think that's exactly what it is. After all, you have a >> winner and a loser, right? >> > No. > You have a loser nation. You have another loser nation. Then you > have > the bystander nations, who generally lose (rare exception - when a > bystander moves in and rapes one of the main losers AND gains significant > materiel and/ or technology in the process. Whether this is a net win or a > further loss would require the attention of a swarm of moral accountants). > Your trade and business systems are damaged for years or decades to come, > which most people who aren't involved in war profiteering consider to be a > loss. > There are also significant numbers of individual people who lose > their > limbs, their health (I remember a gamekeeper, "Sparrow" by nickname > because he spoke so quietly. He taught me a lot about nature and woodland > care. Chlorine.), their lives, or their loved ones. > There are some politicians who benefit from wars. This is generally > considered a loss. > The winner is the one who gets to sing their own praises in the history books. IE - America won the revolutionary war, therefore George Washington is considered one of our greatest heroes. What if Britian had won? Washington would be considered a scumbag treasonous rebel who got what was coming to him, if anyone even remembered him at all. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
On France
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks
it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
Mark Twain
a few facts about the French military (stolen from albinoblacksheep.com)
***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web
designer for America's history is illogical. Though you may critisize this
oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web
designer is not nice.
We are still accepting submissions from history researchers.
Last update: May 4, 2005.
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French
history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently
creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious
only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars
when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded
anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants
started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War
- Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded
Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French
military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough,
which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France
claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is
later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French
Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership
of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly
girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States.
Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a
winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of
condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French
bloodline.
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just
as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic
Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim
Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the
First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish,
Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and
Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador
fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should
not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France
collapses?"
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an
accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."
Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal:
"They're there when they need you."
With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the
following losses:
Norse invasions, 841-911.
After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are
bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them
Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only
positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.
Mexico, 1863-1864.
France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its
thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not
surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign
Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the
country a little over a year after arrival.
Panama jungles 1881-1890.
No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually
built by the U.S. 1904-1914.
Napoleonic Wars.
Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of
non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and
anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French
on many occasions.
Haiti, 1791-1804.
French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow
fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.
India, 1673-1813.
British were far more charming then French, ended up victors. Therefore
the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine
(er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.
Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in
Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's
solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first
overseas victories, won 1801-1815.
1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights
France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next
200 years of Franco-American relations.
Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile
land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until
the modern day.
French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too,
just to be fair):
1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response
was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses
when fighting unarmed men, women and children.
St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
Once again, French-on-French slaughter.
Third Crusade.
Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard
the Lion Heart to finish.
Seventh Crusade.
St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.
[Eighth] Crusade.
St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.
Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot
line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would
enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking
with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium
(Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored
this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.
Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me:
Seven year War 1756-1763
Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the
Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of
the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some
Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India
(Clive at Plassey).
Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following:
The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63,
after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider
C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French
public who were very much against the departure. This ended their
colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this
shoddy affair.
OBAscii - The French flag
.MMN
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dM: .M$
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M# .7""""777""MagJ+M3
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.MF
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dM!
dM!
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.'
(Tricolor my ass)
--
"Patriotism is supporting your country all the
time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
In article <hvb...@4ax.com>, Default User wrote: > Go fuck yourself, > Such a potent argument. I'm stunned that you have to resort to encouraging violence instead of using your wit and rhetoric elegance to try to get your way. I see, Mr Default, that you also have the courage to put your name to your opinions. How impressive. -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
... ... ___,_
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-"~"~~~~` _ """7""""~~~""TM"7MM9#MMM$0P5~ST7TMMMMMM#M9M9"R###0w_Lz
While the war itself seems to create loosers, speaking of damage and body
count, it have always been wars, which brought mankind and human society as a
whole forward.
Not only are wars usually followed by an immense economical revival, that often
booms way past the pre-war situation (see post WW2 situation in western europe)
but also science and technology make a huge leap forward.
Without WW2 technology, and the following cold war competition, mankind probably
wouldnt have been to the moon yet. There probably would be no nuclear power
plants either (whether this would be a good or bad thing is another topic)
Other technology like for example jet engines, would have taken much longer to
be ready.
Also the extinction of the old and often decadent political system gives the
chance for a new start, renewing governmental structures and usually making the
state better than before.
However for a war to bring mankind forward, certain pre-consitions have to be
met.
- It must not take too long / destroy too much. - For example the 30 years war
set society back, because it basically prevented education of a whole generation
- The war must be really over when its over / the post war situation must be
stable and issues settled. Most modern wars, including Iraq and most African
conflicts result in a status quo that is as unstable as before, and leads right
into the next conflict, or civil war. This is especially true if a third party
temporarily involves to cease the conflict (for example UN troops) without
settling the war causing problem. It will rise again.
- The loosing party should not be economically surpessed by the winner. If this
is the case, as with forced reparation payments by axis after WW1 or doe to one
sided oil and reconstruction-profit through US-companies involved in Iraq, the
looser country can not regenerate, often causing the political fundation for the
next conflict. (for example WW2 after WW1)
There is one outstanding way of always profiting by war, which has been
demonstrated for centuries for example by switzerland:
Stay neutral and found the winner.
--
* Corvus Corax
*
* ( auto dash spam dash filtered dash account dash to dash dev dash null
* at cybertrench dot com )
Iconoclast wrote:
>Don't delude yourself. Might makes right, always has, perhaps always will.
I'm not deluding myself into thinking that this isn't the case. I am,
however, of the firm opinion that might SHOULD NOT make right, which I
hope you can agree with, seeing how it is part of the foundation on
which America was built. (What with the dislike of putting all the
power into one place and all.)
That said, the bit about French military victories was funny. :> Though
I still point out that the quality of life in France isn't impaired in
the least by their record of military undertakings. And the "Shores of
Barbary" bit is all the funnier for knowing the White House was burned
down in 1812 -- which, considering the recent years, could make one
think that there is a particular trend in American history about going
to fight abroad while unable to prevent disaster at home.
Some Anonymous Coward wrote:
<snipped for inanity>
This is alt.asci-art. Take your anonymous namecalling somewhere where
it is appreciated. I personally suggest
http://img.4chan.org/b/imgboard.html -- it's the right place for it!
--
Khamura
Jan Willms
In article <113...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>, Kmr wrote: > Iconoclast wrote: > >Don't delude yourself. Might makes right, always has, perhaps always will. > > I'm not deluding myself into thinking that this isn't the case. I am, > however, of the firm opinion that might SHOULD NOT make right, which I > hope you can agree with, > Hang on, wasn't Iconoclast one of the participants in the long-running "No means No!" discussions in this group a couple of months ago? Actually since he's not one of the ones bitching about this being an off-topic thread, then there's only one apparent inconsistency (and since I can't remember who was on which side of that discussion, maybe zero significant inconsistencies). -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
In article <200...@VikingPC.home>, Corvus Corax wrote: > However for a war to bring mankind forward, certain pre-consitions have to be > met. > Interesting points, well put. Debatable, and I'm sure they are debated in other fora. -- Aidan Karley, Geologist, "You are in a maze of twisty little presentation styles, all [different | alike]."
On Tue, 22 Nov 2005 04:00:09 GMT, Aidan Karley
<doI...@validEMAILaddressTOa.NEWS.group> wrote:
>I see, Mr Default
That's MR USER to you,
____ __ __ ____ __ __ __ __ ______ ______ __
/\ _`\ /\ \/\ \/\ _`\ /\ \/\ \ /\ \ __/\ \/\__ _\/\__ _\/\ \
\ \ \L\_\ \ \ \ \ \ \/\_\\ \ \/'/'\ \ \/\ \ \ \/_/\ \/\/_/\ \/\ \ \
\ \ _\/\ \ \ \ \ \ \/_/_\ \ , < \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
\ \ \/ \ \ \_\ \ \ \L\ \\ \ \\`\ \ \ \_/ \_\ \ \_\ \__ \ \ \ \ \_\
\ \_\ \ \_____\ \____/ \ \_\ \_\\ `\___x___/ /\_____\ \ \_\ \/\_\
\/_/ \/_____/\/___/ \/_/\/_/ '\/__//__/ \/_____/ \/_/ \/_/
Am Tue, 22 Nov 2005 16:00:06 GMT schrieb Aidan Karley <doI...@validEMAILaddressTOa.NEWS.group>: > In article <200...@VikingPC.home>, Corvus Corax wrote: > > However for a war to bring mankind forward, certain pre-consitions have to be > > met. > > > Interesting points, well put. Debatable, and I'm sure they are debated > in other fora. > definitely, but not with such little nice m*qf /9 ,^"# * *~ ] 4L I / ' f # `_'j' `#_ j' j' L _""# F E # j' am' #wa ,' # _. .#. .#. ~"~ ~"^~ ,+ , j _ ' ,wF ., x, xw_,mw _mw E j _w, _ _, xw q' ' f_' f f ] j' ' f ~f~'F q' # |^j' &_ f j _M' jL j F ] j _L_j' L # f F E _ # #^#^"w/'"N/'Jw/ ! 4M7M |M'|M'#m^ ' #'4w/ (yeah I know, sucks because of being auto generated, but hey ;) -- * Corvus Corax * * ( auto dash spam dash filtered dash account dash to dash dev dash null * at cybertrench dot com )
kmr wrote: > Iconoclast wrote: >>Don't delude yourself. Might makes right, always has, perhaps always will. > > I'm not deluding myself into thinking that this isn't the case. I am, > however, of the firm opinion that might SHOULD NOT make right, which I > hope you can agree with, seeing how it is part of the foundation on > which America was built. (What with the dislike of putting all the > power into one place and all.) How you or I think things should be is irrelevant. We're talking about reality, not utopian fantasy. From first grade recess to the highest levels of government, the strongest (or richest) always comes out on top. > > That said, the bit about French military victories was funny. :> Though > I still point out that the quality of life in France isn't impaired in > the least by their record of military undertakings. And the "Shores of Sure it is. The quality of life for the average French citizen is being degraded by the riots, right? And usually the military or the police (who are themselves just a small domestic army) usually put a stop to things like that, right? > Barbary" bit is all the funnier for knowing the White House was burned > down in 1812 -- which, considering the recent years, could make one > think that there is a particular trend in American history about going > to fight abroad while unable to prevent disaster at home. Meh, we still won that war, and we weren't fighting abroad in the War of 1812. Pearl Harbor would've been a better example, even though we weren't fighting anyone at the time. > > Some Anonymous Coward wrote: > <snipped for inanity> > > This is alt.asci-art. Take your anonymous namecalling somewhere where > it is appreciated. I personally suggest > http://img.4chan.org/b/imgboard.html -- it's the right place for it! > Ok, ok, here ya go. OBAscii: In the tradition of our friend Default User ____ _ | __ )| | _____ __ | _ \| |/ _ \ \ /\ / / | |_) | | (_) \ V V / |____/|_|\___/ \_/__/ _ __ ___ ___| | | '_ ` _ \ / _ \ | | | | | | | __/_| |_| |_| |_|\___(_) -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
Iconoclast wrote: > kmr wrote: > > Iconoclast wrote: > >>Don't delude yourself. Might makes right, always has, perhaps always will. > > > > I'm not deluding myself into thinking that this isn't the case. I am, > > however, of the firm opinion that might SHOULD NOT make right, which I > > hope you can agree with, seeing how it is part of the foundation on > > which America was built. (What with the dislike of putting all the > > power into one place and all.) > > How you or I think things should be is irrelevant. We're talking about > reality, not utopian fantasy. From first grade recess to the highest levels > of government, the strongest (or richest) always comes out on top. And why are you crawling around in the mud on your belly in the worst of submissive gestures when that should make you stand up and demand otherwise? Your apathy in the matter is appaling -- and this comes from the guy agreeing with you on the facts. > > That said, the bit about French military victories was funny. :> Though > > I still point out that the quality of life in France isn't impaired in > > the least by their record of military undertakings. And the "Shores of > > Sure it is. The quality of life for the average French citizen is being > degraded by the riots, right? And usually the military or the police (who > are themselves just a small domestic army) usually put a stop to things > like that, right? The quality of life for the average American citizen is being degraded by the fallout of Katrina by that same logic. A statement I can agree with! > > Barbary" bit is all the funnier for knowing the White House was burned > > down in 1812 -- which, considering the recent years, could make one > > think that there is a particular trend in American history about going > > to fight abroad while unable to prevent disaster at home. > > Meh, we still won that war, and we weren't fighting abroad in the War of > 1812. Pearl Harbor would've been a better example, even though we weren't > fighting anyone at the time. The lack of defenses is still disturbing. -- Khamura Jan Willms
kmr wrote: >> How you or I think things should be is irrelevant. We're talking about >> reality, not utopian fantasy. From first grade recess to the highest >> levels of government, the strongest (or richest) always comes out on top. > > And why are you crawling around in the mud on your belly in the worst > of submissive gestures when that should make you stand up and demand > otherwise? Your apathy in the matter is appaling -- and this comes from > the guy agreeing with you on the facts. If I had the means to change things, that would make me the strongest, wouldn't it? Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. >> Meh, we still won that war, and we weren't fighting abroad in the War of >> 1812. Pearl Harbor would've been a better example, even though we weren't >> fighting anyone at the time. > > The lack of defenses is still disturbing. There's a fine line between being safe and being a police state. -- "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it." --Mark Twain
Iconoclast wrote: >If I had the means to change things, that would make me the strongest, >wouldn't it? Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. You're no George Washington, no. :) >There's a fine line between being safe and being a police state. I absolutely agree. But the line is by no means universal, 'safety' being the cultural construct of those it pertains to. -- Khamura Jan Willms
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