Re: ***New Contest!!! Mohammed ASCII Cartoons!!!!***

On Mon, 6 Feb 2006 16:55:51 -0500, mimus <tin...@hotmail.com> spewed in
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:

>On Mon, 06 Feb 2006 16:15:49 -0500, dave hillstrom wrote:
>
>> On Sun, 5 Feb 2006 21:28:37 -0600, Noodles Jefferson
>> <sil...@tacoshells.com> spewed in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:
>> 
>>>In article <hhzFf.10442$1N5...@twister.nyroc.rr.com>, Douglas D. 
>>>Anderson took the hamburger, threw it on the grill, and I said "Oh 
>>>wow"...
>>>
>>>> Noodles Jefferson wrote:
>>>> > In article <113...@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>, 
>>>> > raz...@hotmail.com took the hamburger, threw it on the grill, and I 
>>>> > said "Oh wow"...
>>>> 
>>>> > Which one's Mohammed?
>>>> > 
>>>> The one that drinks the most Ripple is mo hammad.
>>>
>>>What if he pukes? Then he won't be mo hammad.
>> 
>> what the hell IS ripple anyway?  i mean, its some cheap alcoholic beverage
>> available around the world, and yet ~i've~ certainly never seen a bottle or
>> can of it.  can i go into any booze store and say "hi, do you have any
>> ripple?" and get a knowledgeable response?  should i expect anything
>> besides bottom shelf ripple in the ripple section?
>
>Screw Ripple.  Drink Mad Dog.  Over crushed ice.  Yum.  <hallucinate>

which begs this blast from the past:

=================================================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
Subject: new things
From: mhm...@mindspring.com (Dave Hillstrom)
Date: Sun, 07 Dec 1997 03:06:25 GMT

I'm taking it easy on this Saturday night.  Drinking some good beer.
Ok, a /shitload/ of good beer.  Playing with a new business card
scanner, which ROCKS, if you want *my* opinion.  Anyway, I get this
craving for deviled eggs, but there are /no/ eggs to be found on the
property.  So I hop in the pickup and drive to a little store about a
half mile away.  The kind of store with some of the drop ceiling tiles
missing.  The kind that's on the wrong side of the tracks, which is
just fine by me as I am /usually/ on the wrong side of the tracks, or
out and out derailed, if you get my meaning.  They have medium eggs.
A good thing.  Then I spy "Thunderbird".  Now, I have /always/ prided
myself on being the /most/ openminded person I know, by far, so I
think "Dave, you've /never/ tried that stuff.  Maybe it'll be good,
despite all the jokes and stories about it."  So I grab a bottle.
Head to the cashier.  And there sitting in a big jar on the counter
are..... wait for it...... pickled pigs feet.  They are looking at me,
I can just /sense/ it.  Beckoning to me.  I think "Dave, you have
/never/ in your life tried pickled pigs feet.  Maybe you'll like them.
Who knows?  Maybe those decapitated hooves will bring you /this/ close
to ecstacy, to heavenly redemption.  With angels and cherubs singing
something from the Requiem.  Give it a shot."  So I have the cashier
wrap a bigun up for me, as he talks all the while about how chitlins
are good too, but they don't rest easy with alcohol "if'n you knows
whats I mean."  Seeing as he has no fresh chitlins, it being a
"conveniance" store and all, I feel safe from this pitfall.  I drive
my loot home.  I unwrap my pigs foot and chomp into... into... into
cartiledge and bone.  Hardly /any/ meat at *all*.  What a fuckin
/waste/.  Tastes like a vinegar hot sausage, but without the meat.
Dejected, I unscrew the cap on the bottle of Thunderbird, hoping for
better luck.  Did you know that the fumes from Thunderbird as it is
first uncapped will peel at least 17 layers of paint without any
effort at all?  *Powerfull* stuff.  The stuff should be sold in Home
Depot in the paint section.  Maybe it is, under a different label.
"Shit!  I wonder if It would eat through a plastic cup?"  No, it
doesn't.  And thankfully, after allowing this fine wine to "breath"
for a few minutes, the offensive odor mostly went away.  And I'd have
to say that after imbibing the 750ml bottle that it was a very cheap
yet somewhat enjoyable start for the night. And the wildabeasts I saw
running through my house where a nice bonus, as I've never been to
Africa.

On a five star scale I'd give the pigs feet 0 stars.  The Thunderbird
gets 2 stars for its mildly halucinagenic effects.

Next week we will critique Boone's Farm products and collard greens
cooked in bacon fat.

- Dave Hillstrom   mhm15x4   meow
"They look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They
 were vampires.   /Psychos/ do not /explode/ when sunlight
 hits them, I don't give a fuck /how/ crazy they are!"
                               - Seth  (From Dusk Till Dawn)

=================================================================================================
-- 
dave hillstrom
"Quotes can't be forced.  They just come to you, like diarrhea."
                                        - dave hillstrom mhm15x4

Related ASCII art in the Gallery

Explore these categories from our collection of 11,000+ artworks:

--_-_-_-_---
   -_-_-
     -__-
    _-_
   _-
   -_
    _-_
Kevin Kreamer

Make your own ASCII art

Turn images, text or 3D into ASCII, or draw your own – right in your browser.