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Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 28 Aug 2001.
 _   _                     _        _             _     _           
| | | |___  ___ _ __   ___| |_     / \   _ __ ___| |__ (_)_   _____ 
| | | / __|/ _ \ '_ \ / _ \ __|   / _ \ | '__/ __| '_ \| \ \ / / _ \
| |_| \__ \  __/ | | |  __/ |_   / ___ \| | | (__| | | | |\ V /  __/
 \___/|___/\___|_| |_|\___|\__| /_/   \_\_|  \___|_| |_|_| \_/ \___|
NEWSFLASH - man killed family then comitted suicide

NEWSFLASH - man killed family then comitted suicide

alt.ascii-art · 5 messages · 28 Aug 2001 - 2 Sep 2001
SH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLAS

Recently a man was found dead next to his wife and two children wich
he killed before. On his Computer Screen they found the following
note:

,---------------------------------------------------------------------.
|  File  Edit  Find  Window  Options  Help                     -=lf=- |
|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
| Dear Mr. Gates                                                      |
|                                                                     |
| I hate your Word program because always when i want to type some-   |
| thing the paperclip agent pops up ...i can't stand it anymore!!!    |
|                                                                     |
| That's the reason why i write this letter in the old DOS editor.    |
| If i have to see that stupid paperclip one mor,-------------------. |
| I will kill myself and my whole fami_         |It seems that you  | |
|                                               |want to write in   | |
|                                               |a language other   | |
|                                               |than retoromanic!  | |
|                                               |                   | |
|                                               |please chose the   | |
|                                               |spell check of your| |
|                                               |choice.            | |
|                                               |                   | |
|                                               | O north hebrew    | |
|                                               | O hindi           | |
|                                               | O shri-lankian    | |
|                                               .______________  ___, |
|                                                              |/     |
|                                                              ,-.    |
|                                                            |0|0|    |
|                                                            | | |    |
|                                                            | `'|    |
|                                                            `._,'    |
`---------------------------------------------------------------------'

Police is still not sure what caused the man to snap and kill his
family and later himself.

this lastfuture for ascii-art news broadcast

SH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLASH*NEWSFLAS





Please note: this story is NOT true.  it was made up by some sick
             weirdo mainly to entertain people.
-- 
 \/    ,-------------------------.
(oO)   | we will infect you too! |
 vv __/`-------------------------'
 JL                               

David Palmer <dav...@ntlworld.comNOSPAM> ASCII art 29 Aug 2001 07:48 · permalink · report
          .-------------------.
          | It seems that     |
          | you are writing   |
          | a letter.         |
          |                   |
          | Would you like    |
          | me to             |
          |                   |
          | O screw it up     |
          | O fuck off and    |
          |   leave you alone |
          .______________  ___,
                         |/
                       ,-.
                     |0|0|
                     | | |
                     | `'|
                     `._,'

The first thing to do after installing Microsoft Office HAS to be deactivating
the Office Assistant. Better still deselect it during installation.
--
        ______________________________________________________________________
       /         \                                                 /  ______  \
      |  #####    \          D a v i d   P a l m e r              /  /_    _\  |
      | #### _\_   \                                             /  |/ \  / \| |
      | ##=-[.].]   \       david.666palmer.ntlworld.com        /   |\__\/__/| |
      | #(    _\    /                                           \    \      /  |
      |  #  \__|   /   http://homepage.666palmer.ntlworld.com    \    \ __ /   |
      |   \___/   /                                               \   _\__/_   |
      |  .'   `. / ASCII ART, it's not a hobby, it's an obsession! \ /      \  |
       \________/___________________________________________________\_________/

In article <3b8c9e36$1...@runswick.octacon.co.uk>, David Palmer wrote:
>          .-------------------.
>          | It seems that     |
>          | you are writing   |
>          | a letter.         |
>          |                   |
>          | Would you like    |
>          | me to             |
>          |                   |
>          | O screw it up     |
>          | O fuck off and    |
>          |   leave you alone |
>          .______________  ___,
>                         |/
>                       ,-.
>                     |0|0|
>                     | | |
>                     | `'|
>                     `._,'

The problem is, the second option in the list doesn't work.  Mind you,
there *are* ways that do.

-- 
Ilmari Karonen -- http://www.sci.fi/~iltzu/
"Get real!  This is a discussion group, not a helpdesk.  You post something,
we discuss its implications.  If the discussion happens to answer a question
you've asked, that's incidental."           -- nobull in comp.lang.perl.misc

On Wed, 29 Aug 2001 08:48:55 +0100, "David Palmer"
<dav...@ntlworld.comNOSPAM> wrote:

>The first thing to do after installing Microsoft Office HAS to be deactivating
>the Office Assistant. Better still deselect it during installation.

Yep. I was really amazed that MS decided to start marketing Office XP by
saying "No more annoying office assistant"! If people hate it, just turn it
off, for heaven's sake.

I do understand that it's very hard to press F1 to get help in windows - no
wonder people don't know that you can disable "that annoying paperclip".
--
       CBM, Amiga and PEZ-nut, Scout, Glider pilot, Administrator
        Email: vjo...@sci.fi, URL: http://www.sci.fi/~vjouppi/
                  GSM: +358-40-5679999, IRCNet: Jope
                    Arabuusimiehet World Domination

On Sun, 02 Sep 2001 13:50:41 +0300, Ville Jouppi <vjo...@sci.fi> enlightened us
with:

> On Wed, 29 Aug 2001 08:48:55 +0100, "David Palmer"
> <dav...@ntlworld.comNOSPAM> wrote:
> 
> >The first thing to do after installing Microsoft Office HAS to be deactivating
> >the Office Assistant. Better still deselect it during installation.
> 
> Yep. I was really amazed that MS decided to start marketing Office XP by
> saying "No more annoying office assistant"! If people hate it, just turn it
> off, for heaven's sake.
> 
> I do understand that it's very hard to press F1 to get help in windows - no
> wonder people don't know that you can disable "that annoying paperclip".

The thing that annoyed me the most was that with the paperclip active, pressing
F1 just brings up the paperclip, and as far as I could see there was no way to
get to the proper search box. Plus the fact that if you type in e.g. a visual
basic command it can't find the relevant help, but if you type it into the
search it comes up straight away.
-- 
 o
 |\ _[]
 L_ ===    Stuart Moore
 []\, stm

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