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Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 18 Dec 1999.
 _   _                     _        _             _     _           
| | | |___  ___ _ __   ___| |_     / \   _ __ ___| |__ (_)_   _____ 
| | | / __|/ _ \ '_ \ / _ \ __|   / _ \ | '__/ __| '_ \| \ \ / / _ \
| |_| \__ \  __/ | | |  __/ |_   / ___ \| | | (__| | | | |\ V /  __/
 \___/|___/\___|_| |_|\___|\__| /_/   \_\_|  \___|_| |_|_| \_/ \___|
VITAL INFORMATION!

VITAL INFORMATION!

alt.ascii-art · 8 messages · 18 Dec 1999 - 26 Dec 1999
Krogg <kro...@gtcom.net> 18 Dec 1999 00:00 · permalink · report
JRO wrote:
> 
>  -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> ________________________________________________
> *   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
> *  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
> *  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
> * __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
> */____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
> *               - MINISTRIES -                   *
> *               Sinners Repent!                  *
> *________________________________________________*
> 
>                    "HI FOLKS! Reverend Stoner Joe
>                       here, with some important
>               __\/___   news about the END OF
>              //\_____\     THE MILLENNIUM!"
>             /_(o)_(o)_\
>             (/  ___  \)
>            __\ '\_/' /__
>           /  /\_____/\  \
>          /   \_\<_>/_/   \
>         /      \/ \/      \
>         \   |   \_/   |   /
>          \  |    o    |  / jro
> 

I saw this posted on a cash register once:

"give GOD a try.If you dont like it,the DEVIL
will take you back"...

I was looking at that and thinking,"Gee that devil is one
cool fucker,he will always give you a second chance"....




-- 


|"""""<`.THE PRINCE ,'>"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|
|      `.`/""""""\,','            my sig is too big,      |
|SEE HIS (  /   \ \' SEE HIS      but its really cool.    |
| FACE    \/<> <>\/   SMILE                               |
|         /   W   \          Visit my ascii art site:     |
|       ,'\_|||||_/`.  http://www.gtcom.net/~krogg/ascii/ |
|     ,','   |||   `.`.     kro...@gtcom.net    |
|____<,' TIME TO DIE `.>____Remove no.to.spam to reply____|

Krogg <kro...@gtcom.net> wrote in message news:385...@gtcom.net...
> JRO wrote:
> >
> >  -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > ________________________________________________
> > *   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
> > *  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
> > *  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
> > * __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
> > */____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
> > *               - MINISTRIES -                   *
> > *               Sinners Repent!                  *
> > *________________________________________________*
> >
> >                    "HI FOLKS! Reverend Stoner Joe
> >                       here, with some important
> >               __\/___   news about the END OF
> >              //\_____\     THE MILLENNIUM!"
> >             /_(o)_(o)_\
> >             (/  ___  \)
> >            __\ '\_/' /__
> >           /  /\_____/\  \
> >          /   \_\<_>/_/   \
> >         /      \/ \/      \
> >         \   |   \_/   |   /
> >          \  |    o    |  / jro
> >
>
> I saw this posted on a cash register once:
>
> "give GOD a try.If you dont like it,the DEVIL
> will take you back"...
>
> I was looking at that and thinking,"Gee that devil is one
> cool fucker,he will always give you a second chance"....
>

A good tip to remember. The next time we have to damn folks,
maybe they won't feel so bad,


JRO

joris bellenger <svz...@xs4all.nl> wrote in message news:385...@xs4all.nl...
> JRO wrote:
>
> >   ________________________________________________
> > *   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
> > *  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
> > *  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
> > * __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
> > */____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
> > *               - MINISTRIES -                   *
> > *               Sinners Repent!                  *
> > *________________________________________________*
> >
> >                 "Thankyou for your attention.
> >            __\/___ We now return you suckers to
> >           //\_____\ your regularly scheduled pro-
> >          /_(o)_(o)_\ gramming of filth, smut, and
> >          (/  ___  \)  vile depravity, wishing you
> >         __\ '\_/' /__  a good evening, and reminding
> >        /  /\_____/\  \   you that the LAKE OF FIRE
> >       /   \_\<_>/_/   \   is READY & WAITING for
> >       |     \/ \/     |      YOUR sorry ass!"
> >       |   |  \_/  |   |
> >       |   |  o    |   |  jro
> >
>
>
>
>                     Gee, I should hire this guy.
>                                    /
>                                   /
>                       )            (
>                      /(   (\___/)  )\  _____________
>                     ( #)  \ (- -) ( # |        '\\\\\\
>                      ||___c\   >'__|  |        ' ____|_
>                      ||**** )`_/ **'  |   +    '||::::::
>                .__   |'* ___| |___*'  |        '||_____|
>                 \_|  |'*(    ~   ,)'  \'_______|_____|
>                   )) |' /(.  '  .)\   ___/____|___\___
>                  (( _""";!___*_____\_|    _    '  <<<:|
>                    /     /|          |_________'___o_o| b'ger
>                   /_____/ /
>                   |:____|/


What's the offer?

JRO

JRO <twe...@my-deja.com> ASCII art 18 Dec 1999 00:00 · permalink · report
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------

________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*               - MINISTRIES -                   *
*               Sinners Repent!                  *
*________________________________________________*

                   "HI FOLKS! Reverend Stoner Joe
                      here, with some important
              __\/___   news about the END OF
             //\_____\     THE MILLENNIUM!"
            /_(o)_(o)_\
            (/  ___  \)
           __\ '\_/' /__
          /  /\_____/\  \
         /   \_\<_>/_/   \
        /      \/ \/      \
        \   |   \_/   |   /
         \  |    o    |  / jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*               - MINISTRIES -                   *
*               YOU ARE DOOMED!                  *
*________________________________________________*


         "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, brothers
        and sisters, and YOUR ASS IS FINISHED!"

 .--.          __\/___          .--.
 \   \/)      //\_____\      (\/   /
  \___/      /_(o)_(o)_\      \___/
   \   \     (/  ___  \)     /   /
    \   \_____\ '\_/' /_____/   /
     \        /\_____/\        /
      \______ \_\<_>/_/ ______/
             |  \/ \/  |
             |   \_/   |
             |    o    |



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*               - MINISTRIES -                   *
*              THE END IS NEAR!                  *
*________________________________________________*


             "That's right - you heard me. You
       __\/___ SINFUL BASTARDS out there,
      //\_____\ wallowing in SIN and CORRUPTION
     /_(o)_(o)_\ don't have a snowball's chance
     (/  ___  \)      _ of survivin' the Millennium.."
    __\ '\_/' /__    //\
   /  /\_____/\  \  /\ /|
  /   \_\<_>/_/   \/  \/
 /   |  \/ \/  |  /   /
 \   |   \_/   |\    /
  \  |    o    | \__/ jro




 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*                 MINISTRIES                     *
*           SALVATION - GUARANTEED!              *
*________________________________________________*


 "UNLESS - You're smart enough to call now - WHILE
  THERE'S STILL TIME! For a mere $5, I am pleased
  to announce that due to a Special Dispensation
  offered through our Ministry, DIRECT from the
ALMIGHTY HIMSELF, I can GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE SAVED!"
          __\/___
         //\_____\
        /_(o)_(o)_\       _
        (/  ___  \)      //
       __\ '\_/' /__    //\
      /  /\_____/\  \  /\ /|
     /   \_\<_>/_/   \/  \/
    /   |  \/ \/  |  /   /
    \   |   \_/   |\    /
     \  |    o    | \__/ jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*                 MINISTRIES                     *
*                   ONLY $5                      *
*________________________________________________*


 "You heard right, folks! Salvation - GUARANTEED -
           for ONLY FIVE DOLLARS!"

               __\/___
              //\_____\
             /_(o)_(o)_\
      _      (/  ___  \)
     /\\    __\ '\_/' /__
    |\ /\  /  /\_____/\  \
     \/  \/   \_\<_>/_/   \
       \  \  |  \/ \/  |   \
        \   /|   \_/   |   /
         \_/ |         |  / jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*                 MINISTRIES                     *
*             * 1-800-tok-2God *                 *
*________________________________________________*

 "CALL NOW! You can receive IMMEDIATE FORGIVENESS,
  right through our TOLL FREE service! Just choose
    your method of payment, and then offer your
          __\/___ ABJECT CONFESSION to the CREATOR,
         //\_____\ right after you hear the beep!"
        /_(o)_(o)_\       _
        (/  ___  \)      //
       __\ '\_/' /__    //\
      /  /\_____/\  \  /\ /|
     /   \_\<_>/_/   \/  \/
    /   |  \/ \/  |  /   /
    \   |   \_/   |\    /
     \  |    o    | \__/ jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*                 MINISTRIES                     *
*                 TOLL FREE!                     *
*________________________________________________*

 "REMEMBER! This is your last chance EVER, before
   the WORLD ENDS on January 31st, AT MIDNIGHT!"

          __\/___
         //\_____\
        /_(o)_(o)_\
        (/  ___  \)
       __\ '\_/' /__
      /  /\_____/\  \
     /   \_\<_>/_/   \
    /   |  \/ \/  |   \
    \   |   \_/   |   /
     \  |    o    |  / jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*                 MINISTRIES                     *
*         CALL NOW! CALL NOW! CALL NOW!          *
*________________________________________________*


  "It'll only take a few minutes, and there are so
   PRECIOUS FEW LEFT! Just imagine - for a paltry
   FIVE BUCKS, you'll wake up in the LOVING ARMS
  OF THE LORD, the instant the APOCALYPSE HAPPENS!"
                      __\/___
                     //\_____\
                    /_(o)_(o)_\
                    (/  ___  \)
  ___(\______________\ '\_/' /_____________/)___
 ;     |             /\_____/\            |     ;
 `.__.-|____________ \_\<_>/_/ ___________|-.__.'
                    |  \/ \/  |
                    |   \_/   |
                    |    o    |        jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*               - MINISTRIES -                   *
*             * 1-800-tok-2God *                 *
*________________________________________________*

                  "Now, if that doesn't sound like
                     a DEAL to YOU, then I don't
              __\/___   know what would!"
             //\_____\
            /_(o)_(o)_\
            (/  ___  \)
           __\ '\_/' /__
          /  /\_____/\  \
         /   \_\<_>/_/   \
        /      \/ \/      \
        \   |   \_/   |   /
         \  |    o    |  / jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*                 MINISTRIES                     *
*                 TOLL FREE!                     *
*________________________________________________*

     "So pull out those credit cards, cash, checks,
        or money orders, and PICK UP THE PHONE!"

             __\/___
            //\_____\
           /_(o)_(o)_\
           (/  ___  \)      _
          __\ '\_/' /__    //\
         /  /\_____/\  \  /\ /|
        /   \_\<_>/_/   \/  \/
       /   |  \/ \/  |  /   /
       \   |   \_/   |\    /
        \  |    o    | \__/ jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*                 MINISTRIES                     *
*         CALL NOW! CALL NOW! CALL NOW!          *
*________________________________________________*

                 "You'd best hurry, though. This
                   is a LIMITED TIME OFFER! If you
              __\/___ don't take advantage of it -
             //\_____\  SOON - I can guarantee you'll
            /_(o)_(o)_\   wake up, BARKING IN HELL,
            (/  ___  \)     come January 1st!"
           __\ '\_/' /__
          /  /\_____/\  \
         /   \_\<_>/_/   \
        /      \/ \/      \
        \   |   \_/   |   /
         \  |    o    |  / jro



 ________________________________________________
*   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
*  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
*  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
* __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
*/____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
*               - MINISTRIES -                   *
*               Sinners Repent!                  *
*________________________________________________*

                "Thankyou for your attention.
           __\/___ We now return you suckers to
          //\_____\ your regularly scheduled pro-
         /_(o)_(o)_\ gramming of filth, smut, and
         (/  ___  \)  vile depravity, wishing you
        __\ '\_/' /__  a good evening, and reminding
       /  /\_____/\  \   you that the LAKE OF FIRE
      /   \_\<_>/_/   \   is READY & WAITING for
      |     \/ \/     |      YOUR sorry ass!"
      |   |  \_/  |   |
      |   |  o    |   |  jro


--
Jonathon R. Oglesbee
oglesbee@
      mail.fullnet.net


Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

joris bellenger <svz...@xs4all.nl> ASCII art 18 Dec 1999 00:00 · permalink · report
JRO wrote:

>   ________________________________________________
> *   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
> *  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
> *  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
> * __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
> */____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
> *               - MINISTRIES -                   *
> *               Sinners Repent!                  *
> *________________________________________________*
>
>                 "Thankyou for your attention.
>            __\/___ We now return you suckers to
>           //\_____\ your regularly scheduled pro-
>          /_(o)_(o)_\ gramming of filth, smut, and
>          (/  ___  \)  vile depravity, wishing you
>         __\ '\_/' /__  a good evening, and reminding
>        /  /\_____/\  \   you that the LAKE OF FIRE
>       /   \_\<_>/_/   \   is READY & WAITING for
>       |     \/ \/     |      YOUR sorry ass!"
>       |   |  \_/  |   |
>       |   |  o    |   |  jro
>



                    Gee, I should hire this guy.
                                   /
                                  /
                      )            (
                     /(   (\___/)  )\  _____________
                    ( #)  \ (- -) ( # |        '\\\\\\
                     ||___c\   >'__|  |        ' ____|_
                     ||**** )`_/ **'  |   +    '||::::::
               .__   |'* ___| |___*'  |        '||_____|
                \_|  |'*(    ~   ,)'  \'_______|_____|
                  )) |' /(.  '  .)\   ___/____|___\___
                 (( _""";!___*_____\_|    _    '  <<<:|
                   /     /|          |_________'___o_o| b'ger
                  /_____/ /
                  |:____|/

JRO <ogl...@mail.fullnet.net-remove> ASCII art 19 Dec 1999 00:00 · permalink · report
joris bellenger <svz...@xs4all.nl> wrote in message news:385...@xs4all.nl...

>
>                 How about a bunch of cheerleaders
>              and a dozen bottles of malt Irish whishy?
>                               /
>                              /    __
>                                   )(
>                      (\___/)   * |  |
>                      \ (. .)     |  |
>                      c\   >'     |__| #
>                        )`_/      '
>                 _______| |__    ,|//
>                # ___ `  ~   )  ( /
>                \,|  | . ' .) \ /#
>               _( /  )   , / \ / |
>                // ,#;,,;,;   \,/
>        __,,    ,#;,;;,;;
>        \__(    i;;;,,;;
>           \\,;;,%;;,;#
>            %,;;:,%;,;%
>                   ;,;;
>                   #,;
>                  //
>                  \|_
>          b'ger    |#\
>                    -"
>
>
>

          __.
     \|.-'  \\     "Wow... You sure know how to hire
     /  .  _/ ()    a guy. With a boss like you, I
     |`  /\~()_)   think I could work for someone else,
     \\  \_  //\    after all."
      \  |    _/
      __\/   (____
     /  \ \  / /  \
    /    \/\/\/    \
   /   |  \../  |   \    JRO

joris bellenger <svz...@xs4all.nl> ASCII art 20 Dec 1999 00:00 · permalink · report

JRO wrote:

> joris bellenger <svz...@xs4all.nl> wrote in message news:385...@xs4all.nl...
> > JRO wrote:
> >
> > >   ________________________________________________
> > > *   _____ _______ ______  __     __ ____  _____  *
> > > *  /  __//__  __// __  / /  \   / // __/ / __ /  *
> > > *  \ (     / /  / / / / / /\ \ / // /__ / /_//   *
> > > * __) \   / /  / /_/ / / /  \ V //  __//  __/    *
> > > */____/  /_/  /_____/ /_/    \_//____//_/\_\     *
> > > *               - MINISTRIES -                   *
> > > *               Sinners Repent!                  *
> > > *________________________________________________*
> > >
> > >                 "Thankyou for your attention.
> > >            __\/___ We now return you suckers to
> > >           //\_____\ your regularly scheduled pro-
> > >          /_(o)_(o)_\ gramming of filth, smut, and
> > >          (/  ___  \)  vile depravity, wishing you
> > >         __\ '\_/' /__  a good evening, and reminding
> > >        /  /\_____/\  \   you that the LAKE OF FIRE
> > >       /   \_\<_>/_/   \   is READY & WAITING for
> > >       |     \/ \/     |      YOUR sorry ass!"
> > >       |   |  \_/  |   |
> > >       |   |  o    |   |  jro
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >                     Gee, I should hire this guy.
> >                                    /
> >                                   /
> >                       )            (
> >                      /(   (\___/)  )\  _____________
> >                     ( #)  \ (- -) ( # |        '\\\\\\
> >                      ||___c\   >'__|  |        ' ____|_
> >                      ||**** )`_/ **'  |   +    '||::::::
> >                .__   |'* ___| |___*'  |        '||_____|
> >                 \_|  |'*(    ~   ,)'  \'_______|_____|
> >                   )) |' /(.  '  .)\   ___/____|___\___
> >                  (( _""";!___*_____\_|    _    '  <<<:|
> >                    /     /|          |_________'___o_o| b'ger
> >                   /_____/ /
> >                   |:____|/
>
> What's the offer?
>
> JRO


                How about a bunch of cheerleaders
             and a dozen bottles of malt Irish whishy?
                              /
                             /    __
                                  )(
                     (\___/)   * |  |
                     \ (. .)     |  |
                     c\   >'     |__| #
                       )`_/      '
                _______| |__    ,|//
               # ___ `  ~   )  ( /
               \,|  | . ' .) \ /#
              _( /  )   , / \ / |
               // ,#;,,;,;   \,/
       __,,    ,#;,;;,;;
       \__(    i;;;,,;;
          \\,;;,%;;,;#
           %,;;:,%;,;%
                  ;,;;
                  #,;
                 //
                 \|_
         b'ger    |#\
                   -"

JRO wrote:

>  "REMEMBER! This is your last chance EVER, before
>    the WORLD ENDS on January 31st, AT MIDNIGHT!"

Yes, remember, you only have until 235959 31DEC2000 to call!
Hurry!  Only the first billion get this nifty free hat!

<cough>

cheers,
--
Glenn Copeland /(0\ ge...@silverchat.com
               \1)/ What's on, your mind?

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