Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 5 Apr 1999.
"Help"...
alt.ascii-art
· 3 messages · 5 Apr 1999 - 6 Apr 1999
"Okay, cats! Today, we're gonna address
a MUCH NEEDED subject: Help for all you
geeks out there, wasting your lives on
the damn box in front of your face, all
on account of somewheres, you never
did pick up no good advice, and ain't yet
learnt the first thing about being cool."
/
__\/___ /
//\_____\
_ /_(o)_(o)_\
\\ (/ ___ \)
/\\ __\ '\_/' /__
/\ /\ / \/\ /\/ \
\/ \/ \_/ \
\ \ | . |_|| \
\ /| | /
\_/ | . | / jro
"Have no fear, though. You poor, dysfunctional
folks have got ME! An' I'm gona try to he'p ya
out. Belive me, you're gonna learn a thing or
two, an' if ya listen well, I figger I kin help
you to change your life for the better!"
/
__\/___ /
//\_____\
/_(o)_(o)_\
(/ ___ \)
__\ '\_/' /__
/ \/\ /\/ \
/ \_/ \
/ | . |_|| \
\ | | /
\ | . | / orj
"Hey! Before we git too deep into
the subject, here's a little thing
ya ought to know... How many of ya
ree-cog-nize what this is?"
/
__\/___ /
//\_____\
/_(o)_(o)_\ _
(/ ___ \) |_|
__\ '\_/' /__ //\
/ \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\
/ \_/ \ / \/
/ | . |_|| / /
\ | |\ /
\ | . | \__/ jro
__\/___
//\_____\
/_(o)_(o)_\ _
(/ ___ \) |_|
__\ _ /__ //\
/ \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\
/ \_/ \ / \/
/ | . |_|| / /
\ | |\ /
\ | . | \__/
"Well, it's a Zippo. Handy thing
for even geeks to know about...
Now, I'm gonna take a sec or two,
an' then we'll git into some
SERIOUS advice for you folks..."
/
__\/___ /
//\_____\
/_(o)_(o)_\ _
(/ ___ \) |_|
__\ '\_/' /__ //\
/ \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\
/ \_/ \ / \/
/ | . |_|| / /
\ | |\ /
\ | . | \__/ jro
__
(__) __
...PUFF... _( _)
...PUFF... (___)
_
__\/___ __(_)
/ \(_ _)
/ \(__)
(\_______/)
__/\_____/\__
/ \_______/ \
| | \
| | | \
| | |___/
\ | | jro
_
(...Blow that, you ) (_)__ __
(cybersyphiltic morons...) __ .'__`. (_ )
O (__) / / \ \ (_)
O __ \ \__/ /
O (_ ) __ `.__.'
o __\/___ (_) _( _) (_)
/ // \ (_ _)
/ // \ (_)
(\_______/) ...PUFF...
__/\_____/\__ ...PUFF...
/ \_______/ \
| | \
| | | \
| | |___/
jro \ | |
"Okay, now back to the lesson.
Number One: never drive anything
with less than 300 horses locked
under the hood. Forget all that
crap about "Where Doo YOU Wanna
Go Today?". YOU don't go anywhere
on the World Wide Web. IT don't
move. The only place you'll end
up by "traveling" on it, is
straight to some FAT CAMP."
/
__\/___ /
//\_____\
/_(o)_(o)_\
(/ ___ \)
__\ '\_/' /__
/ \/\ /\/ \
/ \_/ \
/ | . |_|| \
\ | | /
\ | . | / jro
_))__
(((()))\\\
)o))))))_ \
_______ \_(()))) \ \ __ "Now, on to Number Two..."
_)(())))/ / /
/\\))(()))/ __\/___ /
/ /())))))) //\_____\
/ / ((())))) /_(o)_(o)_\
\ \_()))))) (/ ___ \)
\ \)____( __\ '\_/' /__
\ / \ / \/\ /\/ \
(/ \ / \_/ \
/________\ / | . |_|| \
/ / | | \ | | /
jro / / | | \ | . | /
_))__
(((()))
)o))))))
_______ \_(()))) _________ "Hhmmm..."
_)(()))) /
/\\))(())) __\/___ /
/ /())))))) //\_____\
/ / ()(())))\ /_(o)_(o)_\
\ \_()))))) / (/ ___ \)
\ \)____( / __\ _ /__
\ / \_) / \/\ /\/ \
(/ \ / \_/ \
/________\ / | . |_|| \
| | \ \ \ | | /
jro | | / / \ | . | /
"Look, maybe it's time you just faced
the facts. I can't help you sonsabitches,
anyway. You're geeks! If you weren't, you
you wouldn't be reading a newsgroup, would
ya? I'm afraid that I have some other matters
_((__ to attend to, now. You sit there and "surf",
(()))(( and I'll take care of this problem that's
((()))))( came up here. Good luck to you... I'm
________ (((())))) _____ not gonna need any, myself."
((()))))) /
/()))(()))\ __\/___ /
/ (())))))) \ //\_____\
/ /(()))))))\ \ /_(o)_(o)_\ _
\ \(()))))) / / (/ ___ \) //
\ \)____( / / __\ '\_/' /__ //\
\ / \/ / / \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\
(/ \) / \_/ \/ \/
/________\ / | . |_|| / /
| || | \ | |\ /
jro | || | \ | . | \_/
Jonathon R. Oglesbee
oglesbee@
mail.fullnet.net
Wow, Laura... You got more guts than a smokehouse. JRO
On Mon, 5 Apr 1999 16:57:13 -0500, "JRO" <ogl...@mail.fullnet.net-remove> wrote: Maddiagn... I don't lock horses under my hood. I also don't listen to someone with a sqaure head when they tell me "how to be cool" :P Laura > > "Okay, now back to the lesson. > Number One: never drive anything > with less than 300 horses locked > under the hood. Forget all that > crap about "Where Doo YOU Wanna > Go Today?". YOU don't go anywhere > on the World Wide Web. IT don't > move. The only place you'll end > up by "traveling" on it, is > straight to some FAT CAMP." > / > __\/___ / > //\_____\ > /_(o)_(o)_\ > (/ ___ \) > __\ '\_/' /__ > / \/\ /\/ \ > / \_/ \ > / | . |_|| \ > \ | | / > \ | . | / jro > >
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