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Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 23 Jan 1997.
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Windows 95 Pain Reliever

Windows 95 Pain Reliever

alt.ascii-art · 17 messages · 23 Jan 1997 - 8 Feb 1997
Please pardon my intrusion but I would like the opportunity to tell you
about something which may be of interest to you and help you with your
everyday use of your computer.

Windows 95 Pain Reliever.  It is a book I have published in electronic
format.  It will help you with practically every question you have about
Windows 95.  It will help you configure your system to run the way you want,
from installing hardware and software, to fixing error messages, fixing
system lock-ups, and it is full of tips, tricks, and secrets.

I wrote the book for my brother who knows how to turn his computer on and he 
knows how to use the keyboard and mouse and that is about it.  The book was 
written to be easily read and understood with step by step instructions.  It 
was designed to help the beginner as well as the intermediate.

Windows 95 Pain Reliever really lives up to its name and will make life 
easier with this operating system.  And, if you ever have a question about 
anything in the book, simply send me e-mail and I will do my best to reply 
with an answer within 24 to 48 hours.  Most will be answered the same day by 
9:00 p.m.

With the book being in electronic format I am able to send the book via 
e-mail or on a single floppy which can be printed out or read right on the 
computer.  The book is $20 if sent via e-mail or $25 if you would like it on 
a floppy and mailed to you.  For more information about the book or myself, 
please feel free to send me e-mail or you can visit my web site 
(http://members.tripod.com/~EarthCom).  Be sure to type the web address just 
as you see it.  It is case sensitive.

Thank you for your time and have many nice days,


Kevin R. Stoltz
------------------------------------------------------
kar...@worldnet.att.net
http://members.tripod.com/~EarthCom

George Tews wrote:
> 
> Windows 95 is NOTHING BUT A PAIN, no book will fix it!
> The best fix for Win95, is FORMAT C:
> Then file the Win95 install disks or CD, in the garbage!!!!!
> 
> Finally, install DOS, Win3.11, OS2. Linux, or ANYTHING ELSE!
> 

Hi George,

if you can't handle Win95 -> buy a used Commodore C64 -- you'll never
have to re-install the operating system...

take care -- Luke


Windows 95 is NOTHING BUT A PAIN, no book will fix it!
The best fix for Win95, is FORMAT C:
Then file the Win95 install disks or CD, in the garbage!!!!!

Finally, install DOS, Win3.11, OS2. Linux, or ANYTHING ELSE!


-------------------------



Kevin Stoltz (kar...@worldnet.att.net) wrote:
: Please pardon my intrusion but I would like the opportunity to tell you
: about something which may be of interest to you and help you with your
: everyday use of your computer.

: Windows 95 Pain Reliever.  It is a book I have published in electronic
: format.  It will help you with practically every question you have about
: Windows 95.  It will help you configure your system to run the way you want,
: from installing hardware and software, to fixing error messages, fixing
: system lock-ups, and it is full of tips, tricks, and secrets.

: I wrote the book for my brother who knows how to turn his computer on and he 
: knows how to use the keyboard and mouse and that is about it.  The book was 
: written to be easily read and understood with step by step instructions.  It 
: was designed to help the beginner as well as the intermediate.

: Windows 95 Pain Reliever really lives up to its name and will make life 
: easier with this operating system.  And, if you ever have a question about 
: anything in the book, simply send me e-mail and I will do my best to reply 
: with an answer within 24 to 48 hours.  Most will be answered the same day by 
: 9:00 p.m.

: With the book being in electronic format I am able to send the book via 
: e-mail or on a single floppy which can be printed out or read right on the 
: computer.  The book is $20 if sent via e-mail or $25 if you would like it on 
: a floppy and mailed to you.  For more information about the book or myself, 
: please feel free to send me e-mail or you can visit my web site 
: (http://members.tripod.com/~EarthCom).  Be sure to type the web address just 
: as you see it.  It is case sensitive.

: Thank you for your time and have many nice days,


: Kevin R. Stoltz
: ------------------------------------------------------
: kar...@worldnet.att.net
: http://members.tripod.com/~EarthCom


The only real pain reliver for win95 is when you throw the box out the
window. Install Linux, or get a Mac. Life is better with these.
Just my $0.2

-MacJedi



In article <5c816t$2...@mtinsc05.worldnet.att.net>, kar...@worldnet.att.net
(Kevin Stoltz) wrote:

> Please pardon my intrusion but I would like the opportunity to tell you
> about something which may be of interest to you and help you with your
> everyday use of your computer.
> 
> Windows 95 Pain Reliever.  It is a book I have published in electronic
> format.  It will help you with practically every question you have about
> Windows 95.  It will help you configure your system to run the way you want,
> from installing hardware and software, to fixing error messages, fixing
> system lock-ups, and it is full of tips, tricks, and secrets.
> 
> I wrote the book for my brother who knows how to turn his computer on and he 
> knows how to use the keyboard and mouse and that is about it.  The book was 
> written to be easily read and understood with step by step instructions.  It 
> was designed to help the beginner as well as the intermediate.
> 
> Windows 95 Pain Reliever really lives up to its name and will make life 
> easier with this operating system.  And, if you ever have a question about 
> anything in the book, simply send me e-mail and I will do my best to reply 
> with an answer within 24 to 48 hours.  Most will be answered the same day by 
> 9:00 p.m.
> 
> With the book being in electronic format I am able to send the book via 
> e-mail or on a single floppy which can be printed out or read right on the 
> computer.  The book is $20 if sent via e-mail or $25 if you would like it on 
> a floppy and mailed to you.  For more information about the book or myself, 
> please feel free to send me e-mail or you can visit my web site 
> (http://members.tripod.com/~EarthCom).  Be sure to type the web address just 
> as you see it.  It is case sensitive.
> 
> Thank you for your time and have many nice days,
> 
> 
> Kevin R. Stoltz
> ------------------------------------------------------
> kar...@worldnet.att.net
> http://members.tripod.com/~EarthCom

-- 
Mac...@cryogen.com ===================

In article <32E...@x-wing.org> luk...@x-wing.org writes:
>
>George Tews wrote:
>> 
>> Windows 95 is NOTHING BUT A PAIN, no book will fix it!
>> The best fix for Win95, is FORMAT C:
>> Then file the Win95 install disks or CD, in the garbage!!!!!
>> 
>> Finally, install DOS, Win3.11, OS2. Linux, or ANYTHING ELSE!
>> 
>
>Hi George,
>
>if you can't handle Win95 -> buy a used Commodore C64 -- you'll never
>have to re-install the operating system...
>
>take care -- Luke
>

That is definitely a GOOD idea.  
And your programs will be running faster, too.

Martin
--
 / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \  
|   / ~ \      Si mihi Nausicaa patrios concederet hortos,      / ~ \   |
|\  \    |     Alcinoo possem dicere: "malo meos" .            |    /  /|
|  \    /|                    Marcus Valerius Martialis        |\    /  |
|    ~~  |                                                     |  ~~    |
|        |        Martin Goebbel                               |        |
|        | Email: mar...@tennyo.muc.de                         |        |
 \       |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|       /
   \ __ /                                                       \ __ /

Veronica Karlsson <e93...@sm.luth.se> ASCII art 27 Jan 1997 00:00 · permalink
Martin Goebbel wrote:

[ 8< 8< ]

> Martin
> --
>  / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \
> |   / ~ \      Si mihi Nausicaa patrios concederet hortos,      / ~ \   |
> |\  \    |     Alcinoo possem dicere: "malo meos" .            |    /  /|
> |  \    /|                    Marcus Valerius Martialis        |\    /  |
> |    ~~  |                                                     |  ~~    |
> |        |        Martin Goebbel                               |        |
> |        | Email: mar...@tennyo.muc.de                         |        |
>  \       |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|       /
>    \ __ /                                                       \ __ /




I like that sig. Here is my version:



  .-----------------------------------------------------------------.
 /  .-.                                                         .-.  \
|  /   \                                                       /   \  |
| |\_.  |                                                     |    /| |
|\|  | /|                                                     |\  | |/|
| `---' |                                                     | `---' |
|       |                                                     |       |
*
|       |-----------------------------------------------------|       |
\       |                                                     |       /
 \     /                                                       \     /
  `---'                                                         `---'





and with some variation:  

                                                               .---.
                                                              /  .  \
                                                             |\_/|   |
                                                             |   |  /|
  .----------------------------------------------------------------' |
 /  .-.                                                              |
|  /   \                                                             |
| |\_.  |                                                            |
|\|  | /|                                                            |
| `---' |                                                            |
|       |                                                            | *
|       |                                                           / 
|       |----------------------------------------------------------'
\       |
 \     /
  `---'



(If you want to make them bigger you just copy the line marked wiht a
'*')


:)
Veronica
( e93...@sm.luth.se  http://www.ludd.luth.se/users/vk/ )

Veronica Karlsson <e93...@sm.luth.se> ASCII art 27 Jan 1997 00:00 · permalink
oops! sorry! that should of course be:

  .------------------------------------------------------------.
 /  .-.                                                    .-.  \
|  /   \                                                  /   \  |
| |\_.  |                                                |    /| |
|\|  | /|                                                |\  | |/|
| `---' |                                                | `---' |
|       |                                                |       | *
|       |------------------------------------------------|       |
\       |                                                |       /
 \     /                                                  \     /
  `---'                                                    `---'


(If you want to make them bigger you just copy the line marked with a
'*')

:)
Veronica
( e93...@sm.luth.se  http://www.ludd.luth.se/users/vk/ )

> What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
> Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
> --
> Mark A

	And Win97 is just around the corner!!

In article <5cag8t$pp...@newsops.execpc.com>, George Tews
<gte...@earth.execpc.com> writes
>
>Windows 95 is NOTHING BUT A PAIN, no book will fix it!
>The best fix for Win95, is FORMAT C:
>Then file the Win95 install disks or CD, in the garbage!!!!!
>
>Finally, install DOS, Win3.11, OS2. Linux, or ANYTHING ELSE!
What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
-- 
Mark A

Moo-Juice <Be...@flag.demon.co.uk> ASCII art 3 Feb 1997 00:00 · permalink
In article <5d49r6$mi...@infoserv.rug.ac.be>, Jurgen Coppens
<jco...@eduserv2.rug.ac.be> writes
>Dave Trop (dmt...@citizen.infi.net) wrote:
>: > What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
>: > Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
>: > --
>: > Mark A

Nah, its the number of times it takes you until you install it
successfully...

-- 

 .           be...@flag.demon.co.uk / www.flag.demon.co.uk
                           Moo-Juice on IRC.                 ___   .
 :  _~#~_                                                  '#####`
 : 'o   o`  #include <sys/nearptr.h> void main(){__djgpp_  |o   o| :
 ::|  |  || nearptr_enable();char *v=(char*)(__djgpp_conv  |  |  |::
  ::     || entional_base+0xb8000);v[0]='M';v[1]=15;v[2]=  |     ::
   |==- /|  'o';v[3]=15;v[4]='o';v[5]=15;v[6]='!';v[7]=15   \ -==
   | | | |  ;__djgpp_nearptr_disable();};                    | |
-oOOo---oOOo---The---Adventures---Of---Poke---And---Moo---oOOo-oOOo--

Mark A (mar...@terran.demon.co.uk) wrote:
> What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
> Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
I love it!

	dergl

Moo-Juice wrote:
> 
> In article <5d49r6$mi...@infoserv.rug.ac.be>, Jurgen Coppens
> <jco...@eduserv2.rug.ac.be> writes
> >Dave Trop (dmt...@citizen.infi.net) wrote:
> >: > What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
> >: > Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
> >: > --
> >: > Mark A
> 
> Nah, its the number of times it takes you until you install it
> successfully...
> 

That's a nice idea, but 95 is the minimum IQ you need to handle win95
!!!

take care -- Luke

Dave Trop (dmt...@citizen.infi.net) wrote:
: > What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
: > Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
: > --
: > Mark A

: 	And Win97 is just around the corner!!
He guys win95 is the greatest and one of the best os around......
................... when you don't use it

JuRGeN

--
**************************************************************************
* 	    -= ZeRoMoRpH =-            *                                 *
*  http://studwww.rug.ac.be/~jcoppens  *        Be STRoNG Be WRoNG       *
****************************************          <No MeaNS No>          *
*  I HaTe iT WHeN PeoPLe DoN'T aNSWeR  *                                 *
*              My MaiL                 ***********************************  
***********                   **********                                 *
* SeND To: jco...@eduserv2.rug.ac.be * Sorry for ignoringthe netiquette*
*  e-mail also : zer...@dds.nl       *                                 *
**************************************************************************     
* Rather than taking the evolusionist view that the tribe is an inherent-*
* ly fragile institution, a mere stepping-stone along the way to the     *
* state, instead see the tribe as a device for avoiding the state alto-  *
* gheter. Tribes where they survive represent that.                      *
*           <Alfonso Ortiz, Tewa indian sholar and author>               *
**************************************************************************    

Steve Lamb <mor...@calweb.com> ASCII art 4 Feb 1997 00:00 · permalink
On Mon, 03 Feb 1997 13:13:28 -0500, Luke Skywalker <luk...@x-wing.org> wrote:
>That's a nice idea, but 95 is the minimum IQ you need to handle win95

    How many times we gotta tell you.  It is the maximum IQ...  Maximum, not
minimum.  :)

-- 
  -         -        -       -      -     -    -   -  - ----------==========+[
                                 Steve C. Lamb
  i believe you're looking rather pale don't they believe your little tale too
     bad i guess you're on your own but i will watch over you i come from a
  different dimention than the one you know and i am here to drive you to the
       border of insanity and take notes................................
                                          -- Happy Rhodes, "Cohabitants"

Mark A wrote:
. 
. In article <5cag8t$pp...@newsops.execpc.com>, George Tews
. <gte...@earth.execpc.com> writes
. >
. >Windows 95 is NOTHING BUT A PAIN, no book will fix it!
. >The best fix for Win95, is FORMAT C:
. >Then file the Win95 install disks or CD, in the garbage!!!!!
. >
. >Finally, install DOS, Win3.11, OS2. Linux, or ANYTHING ELSE!
. What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
. Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
. --
. Mark A

The incredible thing is that Windows had 90% of the small-computer
operating system market, and Apple the other 10% (roughly).  I believe
Microsoft decided to chase the 10% by making the new Windows interface
look almost like the one Mac users were familiar with.  They seem not to
have realised that there was a good reason why Windows had 90%!

Actually, 95 isn't all bad, but the interface is much harder to use
(much less intuitive) and a great many conveniences have disappeared. 
And then there's NT, which doesn't even have backup facilities other
than tape (and even then, the 3rd-party facilities are better than the
inherent ones), much less disk defragmentation tools!  The
mutli-threading actually works , but you need at least 32MB for it to
run (only about 10 years ago, hard disks weren't that big).

Maybe one day they'll get it right, but I suspect that Java/Web-type
facilities will kill them.  We can hope!

Steve Lamb wrote:
. 
. On Mon, 03 Feb 1997 13:13:28 -0500, Luke Skywalker <luk...@x-wing.org>
wrote:
. >That's a nice idea, but 95 is the minimum IQ you need to handle win95
. 
.     How many times we gotta tell you.  It is the maximum IQ... 
Maximum, not
. minimum.  :)
. 
.                                  Steve C. Lamb

Can't be - if that were so, it would be easy to use!  Maybe it was the
average IQ of the people who wrote it?

Tobia Conforto <csh...@mbox.vol.it> ASCII art 8 Feb 1997 00:00 · permalink
/                                                    \     
|   I ignore how a question like this finished to be   | 
|   posted in this newsgroup, anyway...)               |
 \                                                    /

lots o' people wrote:
. 
. Windows 95 is NOTHING BUT A PAIN, no book will fix it!
. The best fix for Win95, is FORMAT C:
. Then file the Win95 install disks or CD, in the garbage!!!!!
. Finally, install DOS, Win3.11, OS2. Linux, or ANYTHING ELSE!
. 
. What does 95 stand for, in Windows95?
. Is it its percentage chance of crashing?
. 
. Nah, its the number of times it takes you until you install it
. successfully...
.
.
. 95 is the minimum IQ you need to handle win95
. 
. How many times we gotta tell you.  It is the maximum IQ...
. Maximum, not minimum.  :)
. 
. Can't be - if that were so, it would be easy to use!  Maybe it was the
. average IQ of the people who wrote it?
.

In my opinion, 95 is the minimum IQ you need to realize that 
Bill Gates' baby  ;-)  is not the perfect OS, the software of our
dreams,
but only 'trashware' 


               
                _/_/_/_/_/          _/      _/        
               _/  _/  _/          _/                   
                  _/      _/_/_/  _/_/_/  _/  _/_/_/  _       
                 _/      _/  _/  _/  _/  _/  _/  _/   |obia Conforto
              _/_/_/    _/_/_/  _/_/_/  _/  _/_/_/_/  csh...@mbox.vol.it

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