Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 23 Sep 1997.
The Goodtimes Email Virus
alt.ascii-art
· 7 messages · 23 Sep 1997 - 1 Aug 1998
========================================================================
#\ /##/ #
# #/ #/
####\ /##\ #\__\#\ #/ /#
\##\ /# #\ ######| # /####/
|#\_|___##| |#####|__ #/ _/######/
\#########|_|##################/
\###########/ \########/
\#########| \###|
\##\ \########/ @@ |###| ___/#####
#\ \######| @@ |#########
#\ // \| ||
\##| \\____ ####| /########
_____ \#|_@@__|#####/....\##/ \#/ \#
#######\ /######MMM#/ ......|# \#
/###/......\M/ ...... .\#######
|#| .........|...........|###\
___|#|..........|...... .../| \##
########.. ......\........./##| \#
|#|.........../\.._____|##| \##
|##\ ...__.--|---#########
/####\___/##/--|--|#######/ #
/# \######|-----|#/ \# \## -Veronica Karlsson-
##/ /|######\---/#/ \#
##/ |#########/ \#
/########| \##
/#########|
## |#######|
|#########\
|########|
|#########\
|##########\
|############\
---------------------------------
The Goodtimes Email Virus
---------------------------------
Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace
field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave
its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants
and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give
you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas
tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend
behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your
Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead,
such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to
sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your
boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting
shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet
seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub and
then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist.
It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this message
to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family. If
anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake Goodtimes Virus,
I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do things to them
that would make a horsehead in your bed look like Easter Sunday brunch.
[ Text by Unknown. Ascii Virus by Veronica Karlsson. ]
#\ /##/ #
# #/ #/
####\ /##\ #\__\#\ #/ /#
\##\ /# #\ ######| # /####/
|#\_|___##| |#####|__ #/ _/######/
\#########|_|##################/
\###########/ \########/
\#########| \###|
\##\ \########/ @@ |###| ___/#####
#\ \######| @@ |#########
#\ // \| ||
\##| \\____ ####| /########
_____ \#|_@@__|#####/....\##/ \#/ \#
#######\ /######MMM#/ ......|# \#
/###/......\M/ ...... .\#######
|#| .........|...........|###\
___|#|..........|...... .../| \##
########.. ......\........./##| \#
|#|.........../\.._____|##| \##
|##\ ...__.--|---#########
/####\___/##/--|--|#######/ #
/# \######|-----|#/ \# \## -Veronica Karlsson-
##/ /|######\---/#/ \#
##/ |#########/ \#
/########| \##
/#########|
## |#######|
|#########\
|########|
|#########\
|##########\
|############\
========================================================================
Bye.
Colin Douthwaite wrote: > > #\ /##/ # > # #/ #/ > ####\ /##\ #\__\#\ #/ /# > \##\ /# #\ ######| # /####/ > |#\_|___##| |#####|__ #/ _/######/ > \#########|_|##################/ > \###########/ \########/ > \#########| \###| > \##\ \########/ @@ |###| ___/##### > #\ \######| @@ |######### > #\ // \| || > \##| \\____ ####| /######## > _____ \#|_@@__|#####/....\##/ \#/ \# > #######\ /######MMM#/ ......|# \# > /###/......\M/ ...... .\####### > |#| .........|...........|###\ > ___|#|..........|...... .../| \## > ########.. ......\........./##| \# > |#|.........../\.._____|##| \## > |##\ ...__.--|---######### > /####\___/##/--|--|#######/ # > /# \######|-----|#/ \# \## -Veronica Karlsson- > ##/ /|######\---/#/ \# > ##/ |#########/ \# > /########| \## > /#########| > ## |#######| > |#########\ > |########| > |#########\ > |##########\ > |############\ > > --------------------------------- > > The Goodtimes Email Virus > > --------------------------------- > [ 8< long text about fantasy virus 8< ] > > [ Text by Unknown. Ascii Virus by Veronica Karlsson. ] HEY! Are you calling my (perhaps not so) very own cat a VIRUS!?! I know I'm not that good at drawing cats but this interpretation of one of my better attempts is an insult! :D -- _ ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _| |__/ __ \| |_ _ __| |__| | | |_ _| |_| |_ ___ ___ \ V / / / / _` | | || / _` / _` |_| | || | _| ' \ _(_-</ -_) \_/|_\_\ \__,_|_|\_,_\__,_\__,_(_)_|\_,_|\__|_||_(_)__/\___| \____/ http://www.ludd.luth.se/~vk/
Veronica Karlsson (dre...@on.spammer) wrote: : Colin Douthwaite wrote: : > : > #\ /##/ # : > # #/ #/ : > ####\ /##\ #\__\#\ #/ /# : > \##\ /# #\ ######| # /####/ : > |#\_|___##| |#####|__ #/ _/######/ : > \#########|_|##################/ : > \###########/ \########/ : > \#########| \###| : > \##\ \########/ @@ |###| ___/##### : > #\ \######| @@ |######### : > #\ // \| || : > \##| \\____ ####| /######## : > _____ \#|_@@__|#####/....\##/ \#/ \# : > #######\ /######MMM#/ ......|# \# : > /###/......\M/ ...... .\####### : > |#| .........|...........|###\ : > ___|#|..........|...... .../| \## : > ########.. ......\........./##| \# : > |#|.........../\.._____|##| \## : > |##\ ...__.--|---######### : > /####\___/##/--|--|#######/ # : > /# \######|-----|#/ \# \## -Veronica Karlsson- : > ##/ /|######\---/#/ \# : > ##/ |#########/ \# : > /########| \## : > /#########| : > ## |#######| : > |#########\ : > |########| : > |#########\ : > |##########\ : > |############\ : > : > --------------------------------- : > : > The Goodtimes Email Virus : > : > --------------------------------- : > : [ 8< long text about fantasy virus 8< ] : > : > [ Text by Unknown. Ascii Virus by Veronica Karlsson. ] : : : HEY! : : Are you calling my (perhaps not so) very own cat a VIRUS!?! I know I'm : not that good at drawing cats but this interpretation of one of my : better attempts is an insult! :D : : -- : _ ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ : __ _| |__/ __ \| |_ _ __| |__| | | |_ _| |_| |_ ___ ___ : \ V / / / / _` | | || / _` / _` |_| | || | _| ' \ _(_-</ -_) : \_/|_\_\ \__,_|_|\_,_\__,_\__,_(_)_|\_,_|\__|_||_(_)__/\___| : \____/ http://www.ludd.luth.se/~vk/ looks more like a neuron to me... -mel
Veronica Karlsson (dre...@on.spammer) wrote: >Colin Douthwaite wrote: >> >> #\ /##/ # >> # #/ #/ >> ####\ /##\ #\__\#\ #/ /# >> \##\ /# #\ ######| # /####/ >> |#\_|___##| |#####|__ #/ _/######/ >> \#########|_|##################/ >> \###########/ \########/ >> \#########| \###| >> \##\ \########/ @@ |###| ___/##### >> #\ \######| @@ |######### >> #\ // \| || >> \##| \\____ ####| /######## >> _____ \#|_@@__|#####/....\##/ \#/ \# >> #######\ /######MMM#/ ......|# \# >> /###/......\M/ ...... .\####### >> |#| .........|...........|###\ >> ___|#|..........|...... .../| \## >> ########.. ......\........./##| \# >> |#|.........../\.._____|##| \## >> |##\ ...__.--|---######### >> /####\___/##/--|--|#######/ # >> /# \######|-----|#/ \# \## -Veronica Karlsson- >> ##/ /|######\---/#/ \# >> ##/ |#########/ \# >> /########| \## >> /#########| >> ## |#######| >> |#########\ >> |########| >> |#########\ >> |##########\ >> |############\ >> >> --------------------------------- >> >> The Goodtimes Email Virus >> >> --------------------------------- >> >[ 8< long text about fantasy virus 8< ] >> >> [ Text by Unknown. Ascii Virus by Veronica Karlsson. ] > >HEY! > >Are you calling my (perhaps not so) very own cat a VIRUS!?! I know I'm >not that good at drawing cats but this interpretation of one of my >better attempts is an insult! :D Oops...sorry...I had your pic filed as a virus instead of a virpuss. :-( Here's a re-issue using "My Very Own Virus" instead... ======================================================================== / # / # / # / # / / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # / / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # / ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # / ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ / # ^ ^ ^ Goodtime ^ ^ ^ ^ # / ^ ^ ^ ^ Virus ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # / ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # / ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ -cfbd- / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # / /^ # / # / # / ^ --------------------------------- The Goodtimes Email Virus --------------------------------- Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play. It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work. Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card. It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower. Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist. It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family. If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake Goodtimes Virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like Easter Sunday brunch. [ Text by Unknown. ] \/ \/ \/ \/ / / / / / / ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ \ / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # \ ^ ^[ 0 ] [ 0 ] ^ ^ / # ^ ^ ) ( ^ ^ # \ ^ ^ ^ ^ / \ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ / # ^ ^ ^ / \ ^ ^ ^ ^ # \ ^ ^ ^ / Virus \^ ^ ^ ^ / # ^ ^ ~~U~~~~U~~ ^ ^ ^ # \ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ / # ^ \/\/\/\/\/\/ ^ # \ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ -cfbd- / # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # \ \^ # / # / # ^/ ======================================================================== Bye,
Colin Douthwaite wrote: > Veronica Karlsson (dre...@on.spammer) wrote: > >Colin Douthwaite wrote: > >> > >> #\ /##/ # > >> # #/ #/ > >> ####\ /##\ #\__\#\ #/ /# > >> \##\ /# #\ ######| # /####/ > >> |#\_|___##| |#####|__ #/ _/######/ > >> \#########|_|##################/ > >> \###########/ \########/ > >> \#########| \###| > >> \##\ \########/ @@ |###| ___/##### > >> #\ \######| @@ |######### > >> #\ // \| || > >> \##| \\____ ####| /######## > >> _____ \#|_@@__|#####/....\##/ \#/ \# > >> #######\ /######MMM#/ ......|# \# > >> /###/......\M/ ...... .\####### > >> |#| .........|...........|###\ > >> ___|#|..........|...... .../| \## > >> ########.. ......\........./##| \# > >> |#|.........../\.._____|##| \## > >> |##\ ...__.--|---######### > >> /####\___/##/--|--|#######/ # > >> /# \######|-----|#/ \# \## -Veronica Karlsson- > >> ##/ /|######\---/#/ \# > >> ##/ |#########/ \# > >> /########| \## > >> /#########| > >> ## |#######| > >> |#########\ > >> |########| > >> |#########\ > >> |##########\ > >> |############\ > >> > >> --------------------------------- > >> > >> The Goodtimes Email Virus > >> > >> --------------------------------- > >> > >[ 8< long text about fantasy virus 8< ] > >> > >> [ Text by Unknown. Ascii Virus by Veronica Karlsson. ] > > > > >HEY! > > > >Are you calling my (perhaps not so) very own cat a VIRUS!?! I know I'm > >not that good at drawing cats but this interpretation of one of my > >better attempts is an insult! :D > > Oops...sorry...I had your pic filed as a virus instead of a virpuss. :-( > > Here's a re-issue using "My Very Own Virus" instead... > [ 8< ] No need to be sad! (I'm not) That's a very interesting, and amusing, interpretation... :) -- _ ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _| |__/ __ \| |_ _ __| |__| | | |_ _| |_| |_ ___ ___ \ V / / / / _` | | || / _` / _` |_| | || | _| ' \ _(_-</ -_) \_/|_\_\ \__,_|_|\_,_\__,_\__,_(_)_|\_,_|\__|_||_(_)__/\___| \____/ http://www.ludd.luth.se/~vk/
� If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake Goodtimes Virus, � I will turn hating them into a religion. Great! When's our next Holy Day? Can we make Mondays our Sabbath so we don't have to get up and go to work?
========================================================================
---------------------------------
The Goodtimes Email Virus
---------------------------------
/ # / # / # / # /
/ # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/ # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/ # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/ # ^ ^ ^ Goodtimes ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/ #^ ^ ^ Virus ^ ^ ^ ^# /
/ # ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/ # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/ # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/ # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # /
/^ # / # / # / ^
Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace
field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave
its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants
and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give
you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas
tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend
behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your
Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead,
such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to
sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your
boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting
shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet
seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub and
then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist.
It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this message
to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family. If
anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake Goodtimes Virus,
I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do things to them
that would make a horsehead in your bed look like Easter Sunday brunch.
[ Text by Unknown. ]
========================================================================
Bye.
About this thread.
These messages were posted publicly to the newsgroup
alt.ascii-art
in 1997 - 1998 and are mirrored here unchanged as part of the Historic Archives – only email addresses are masked.
The artwork and text belong to their original authors: if you copy a piece, keep the artist's initials or signature intact and credit them where you can.
Are you one of the authors? Contact us to get your posts attributed, connected to your artist profile, or removed.