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Original Usenet message from alt.ascii-art, 24 Oct 1996.
Sloths and the History of Man

Sloths and the History of Man


<h3>
   #01: The History of Man Song     <br>
   (''El Rotundo had some clams...'')  <br>
   <i>tune is ''Old MacDonald Had a Farm''</i> 
</h3>   <br clear="all">

<b>In LRon Hubbard's book ''The Evolution of Man'', he states that we
evolved from clams, gulping shellfish called ''BooHoos'', sloths that
fell from trees, etc.</b><p> 

<img alt="[O]" src="../img/alf/o.gif">LD Rotundo had some clams, As Ron
says man evolved;<br>
And they were on the path to man, As Ron says man evolved.  
With a... <br>
<i>
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, 
everywhere a SnapSnap,<br>
</i>Old Rotundo had some clams, As Ron says man evolved.
<p>

<b>Vs.2</b><br>
Boo-HOOS and weepers next we were, As Ron says man evolved;<br>
That gulped and sobbed and gasped for air, As Ron says man evolved. 
With a...<br>
<i>
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, 
everywhere a BooHoo;<br>
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, 
everywhere a SnapSnap;<br>
</i>Boo-HOOS and weepers next we were,  As Ron says man evolved.
<p>

<b>Vs.3</b><br>
Then were Sloths that feel from trees, As Ron says man evolved;<br>
And hung arse-upwards by their knees,  As Ron says man evolved. 
With a...<br>
<i>
WhoopsThud here, WhoopsThud there, here a Whoops, there a Whoops,
everywhere a WhoopsThud;<br>
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, 
everywhere a BooHoo;<br>
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, 
everywhere a SnapSnap;<br>
</i>then were Sloths that feel from trees,  As Ron says man evolved.
<p>
<pre>

                =-/                                                   
 \            \\ /                                               /~~ ~
 \     /_  //-<_ \\ /=-//=-//=-///=-///=-/                    /~~
 \   / \|//-= / - ////~~~                 !                  {
 \\  \////_                (((       !                        \  _-
  \ \\\//  /            !   " `,   !   )))                     ~~  \\ //
  \ \\\////                 /"/       |' /                          | |
 \ |||//              !    """|        |""                          | |
  |||||                    |"||        \"|    !                 _-_
 |||||                     "" "        |"|\                  /~~   ~~\
 |)|(|//          !       /""~\\.      /" ""~,            /~~         ~ 
 ||||(|                  ""~""""`"",~`~"!!"!" \          (
 ||||||                  /"""""/""! "~""" "" "~",         \  _-     -_
 |||0||                 //\""!!""~"!"!"\"""/~!~, C~"~P     ~~  \\ //  ~
 |)|(|//           !   // !!"""""! "~ " !!"!! "," O o "         | |    
 ||||(|                ||   !!"!!~!!~||"  !     "" Y ""         | |(__)
 ||||||                \\     !  !  !            `"U"'          | |(oo)
 |||0||          !      \\                                      | | \/ 
 ||||||                  \\  0))                               // \\  
 ||||||                   \`-~/~                              
 ||||||                    `~'                              
</pre>


<b>Vs.4</b><br>
Next Piltdown Man who had big teeth, As Ron says man evolved;<br>
And with those teeth he ate his wife, As Ron says man evolved. 
With a...<br>
<i>
ChompChomp here, ChompChomp there, here a Chomp, there a Chomp,
everywhere a ChompChomp;<br>
WhoopsThud here, WhoopsThud there, here a Whoops, there a Whoops,
everywhere a WhoopsThud;<br>
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, 
everywhere a BooHoo;<br>
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, 
everywhere a SnapSnap;<br>
</i>Next Piltdown Man who had big teeth, As Ron says man evolved.
<p>

<b>Vs.5</b><br>
And now as Humans here we stand, As Ron says man evolved;<br>
If this lot's true then I'll be damned, As Ron says man evolved. 
With a...<br>
<i>
StuffThat  here, StuffThat  there, here a Stuff,  there a Stuff,
everywhere a StuffThat; <br>
ChompChomp here, ChompChomp there, here a Chomp,  there a Chomp,
everywhere a ChompChomp;<br>
WhoopsThud here, WhoopsThud there, here a Whoops, there a Whoops,
everywhere a WhoopsThud;<br>
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, 
everywhere a BooHoo;<br>
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, 
everywhere a SnapSnap;<br>
</i>And now as Humans here we stand,  AS RON  SAYS....MAN  E...VOLVED.

       2  ---  3  --- 4 ----


<pre>
Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, 
 Snapitty snap, on the seashore,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, 
 Snapitty snap, on the seashore?

There's     boohhos-and      weepers-and 
            all-sorts-of     creatures-from
            which-Elron      says-we-e---------volved;
With        engram-from      seaweed,oh
            what-more-could  we-need,but
            O-Ts-that        give-us-a         cold?            

Oh, Snap why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty  
 snap, on the seashore,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, 
 Snapitty snap, on the seashore?
<i>
((*) snap heavily with hinged white toilet seat, dustbin lids, metal
casserole or whatever...or, failing that, make a snapping sign with
thumb & forefinger)
</i>
  All-the little cults     have    their own tricks, like
  selling the Watchtow'r   for     Jehovah's wits:
     the Mormons morm      and     the Shakers shake;
     the Moonies moon      and     the Quakers quake, but...

....Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty
snap, on the seashore,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty
snap, on the seashore?

Oh,         down-at-the      dem-o--please 
            tid-y--your      hair-do--and
            be-sure-to       straighten-your    tie;
There's     always--Sci------ay-nos----who
            like--tak-ing    pho-tos---to 
            make-sure-you're <b>I</b>-den-ti----fied!            
            
Oh, Snap<i>(click(*))</i>why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap
snap, Snapitty snap, with a camera,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty
snap, ON......THE.........SEA----SHORE?  
                                         yoddom-de-doddom-de-DOM (BOM!)



-- 
  Regards,                        Woof Woof,     Glug  Glug--
  X E M U *                     Who Drowned   theJUDGe's Dog ?
   s p 4   \        |\       answers on  ( alt.religion.scientology
           /~~~~~~~  @----,  and on page (/clam/faq/woofglug.html    
-;'^';,_,-;^;  : : : : : : http://www.xemu.demon.co.uk/index.html
_____________________________________*****_<--server has changed___
OT8 Cognition:"Source is the 8th Dynamic"[LRon Hubbard is God]BWAAH!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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From: Dave Bird---St Hippo of Augustine <dav...@xemu.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Sloths and the History of Man
Date: 1996/10/24
Message-ID: <jyC...@xemu.demon.co.uk>
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