Re: my last week has been absolute fucking shite.

metro-golden-meower wrote:
> Veronica Karlsson wrote:
> >metro-golden-meower wrote:
> >> <psc...@sbcglobal.net> wrote:
> >> >"metro-golden-meower" wrote:
> >> >> this all reads like shit because i'm to fucking pissed off to say what
> >> >> i want too. fuck adhd.
> >>
> >> >You always come through loud and clear despite the adhd. I'm sorry about
> >> >your meds, it's a bitch trying to get them to fit what you need.
> >>
> >> i often just dump posts and replies because what i think i cannot put
> >> into words. its seriously fucking annoying. i know sometimes what i
> >> post makes bugger all sence to anyone.
> >
> >Your posts make sense. Humans are not computers. We have lots of
> >redundancy in our languages. Redundancy in this case is a Good Thing.
> >It means we use more than the minimum amount of information necessary
> >to get the message across. It's quite possible to have meaningful
> >conversations with people who can only say one syllable (yes, I have
> >met such people) as long as you are in the same room and can pick up
> >on the person's body language. Writn lang also contns lts f xtra info
> >so dropn a few letrs wont dmage th messge to mch.
> 
> its not so much fucking up spellings, i find problems actualy saying
> in words what i want to say. its one thing to think something, its way
> more different to actualy say it in words.
> 
> my social worker says i can be very articulate, i explained to him
> several times it takes a hell of a lot of effort.

It's like when most people try to draw things. They have an image in
their head of what they want to draw, but the drawing that actually ends
up on the paper doesn't come anywhere close to the ideal in their head,
so they get disappointed and say "This picture sucks! I suck at
drawing!" and then they throw it away and refuse to try again.

The ones who keep drawing are:

1. those who just don't care what the result looks like
2. those who practice, practice, practice when they are alone
   until they reach the point where the image on the paper
   looks like the ideal
3. those who realize that other people haven't seen the ideal
   and have only ever seen the picture on the paper, and thus
   judge the image in a very different way than the artist!

I belong in the third category, and I think I must have been about eight
years old when I figured it out (and made a concious effort to look at
my own creations as if I hadn't seen the ideal image and only what is
actually *there*).

This is also one of the things I like about ascii art. Because it's so
difficult to even get things to look like something, a proof of quality
is when other people can see *what* it is you meant to draw. Making the
picture pretty is something you *might* do, some time in the future. Or
Not.

I suspect your relationship to writing (and not just yours, probably
much more people than you think) is like that. You have a thought, an
ideal "image", in your mind, and then you want to express it in words
and what ends up on paper (or pixels) isn't quite a 100% perfect match
of that ideal... Add to that a little bit of anxiety/complex/whatever
about your ability to work with language... (sort of like a painter who
knows he's both colour blind and has Parkinson's...)


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eilert_Pilarm

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