Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 8 Apr 2000.
Build own your transporter
alt.ascii-art
· 2 messages · 8 Apr 2000 - 10 Apr 2000
.-----------------------------.
| Build own your transporter |
| (c) David Palmer 2000 |
'-----------------------------'
1. Construct a Heisenberg Compensator.
a) Locate a domestic microwave oven.
.---------------.
|.-----------. |
|| |()|
|| |oo|
|'-----------' |
"""""""""""""""
b) Removing the outer casing from the and pull out the magentron.
.---------------.
|.-----------. |
|| |()|
|| |oo| (Don't skip this step or you won't be
||___________|__| able to derive the precise vector and
.'.' positional data of particles at a
.'.' subatomic level).
_:_:____
[XXXXXXXX]
""""""""
|---------------|
"""""""""""""""
Leave the wires attached to the magnetron.
2. Glue it to the primary induction terminals on the No.7 Transporter
circuit (Tandy / Radio Shack) taking care not to reverse the polarity .
_____________
|##TT####ooo##|
|##++#-#I=##-#|
|##=#HH<>#=#I.|
|#############|
"""""""""""""
(Use Metal-Glue)
___________
|| \___
|| |__|
||__________/
3. Take 2 metres of coaxial cable
__...---...---...---...---...---...---
and attach the secondary induction terminals of the transport
circuit to a pair of Pattern buffers.
I haven't worked out how to multiplex the buffers so you'll have
to operate these in synchronization when you adjust the frequency
for the doppler effect or else the subject could get "transporter
psychosis".
If you can't locate genuine pattern buffers take two condenser
microphones and tape them between two pairs of frisbees.
_...---------..._
__...---...---'''---===(-----------------)
~---.........---~
_...---------..._
__...---...---'''---===(-----------------)
~---.........---~
4. Fit the components to the inside of a Telephone box
__..---'''---...___
.' '.
| .-------------------. |
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|_|___________________|_|
5. Bolt a Satelite dish to the top of the telephone box.
.
/
/
_. o
[_]====\
||'
|| \
|| \
|| '
and connect to the magnetron using coxial cable.
7. Take a pair of car jumper cables (heavy duty)
>8============================8<
>8============================8<
8. Connect one end to a 12v Car Battery
+ -
_n_________n_
| |
| |
| |
|_____________|
9. Connect the other ends to the power terminals of the transporter
circuit and there we have it!
I'm still working on the rematerialisation chamber and would really
appreciate it if anyone could let me know of a source of dilithium
crystals and antimatter.
* CAUTION * It only takes one handful of antimatter to rip the
atmosphere off a planet so wear thick gloves if you find some.
##### frOM tHe tWiStEd mInD oF
#### _\_ _ _
##=-[.].] | \ _. o _| |_)_.|._ _ _ ._
#( _\ |_/(_|\/|(_| | (_||| | |(/_|
# \__|
\___/ dav...@666palmer.freeserve.co.uk
http://www.666palmer.freeserve.co.uk/myascii.html
In article <8co9v3$9j9$1...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk>, "David Palmer" <dav...@666palmer.freeserve.co.uk> wrote: > > .-----------------------------. > | Build own your transporter | > | (c) David Palmer 2000 | > '-----------------------------' > > 1. Construct a Heisenberg Compensator. > > a) Locate a domestic microwave oven. > .---------------. > |.-----------. | > || |()| > || |oo| > |'-----------' | > """"""""""""""" > b) Removing the outer casing from the and pull out the magentron. [snip] > > * CAUTION * It only takes one handful of antimatter to rip the > atmosphere off a planet so wear thick gloves if you find some. > > ##### frOM tHe tWiStEd mInD oF [snip] > \___/ dav...@666palmer.freeserve.co.uk > http://www.666palmer.freeserve.co.uk/myascii.html . ha / ha \,^^%--- <\/ \ ha < </\ ^^| ejm / Good one David! NOTE: I never pick up my mail from the yahoo address. If you are e-mailing and hit the reply button, add an "e" to "freent"; its absense is to stop the torment of automatic mailers. -- __ llizard aka ejm \<\ cq547@freene+.+oron+o.on.ca < \ ^^<_ / as soon as I reattach my head, I'm ejm _\/ ^%--- going out to buy a microwave oven.... ASCII-ar+ and ASCII-anima+ions http://www.crosswinds.net/~llizard/
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