help for newbies

I typed this up for future use but thought I should post it here for
all you got get a kick out of.

ProAscii and Anti-Ansi are copywrite by Faux_Pseudo:

               o=o
               |_|
     []    (]  |_|          {}
    -==- -===              -oo-
-----ll-- H H---------------||---------------

        Hi!    o=o 
               |_|
     []/   (]  |_|         {}
    -==  -===             -oo-
-----ll-- H H--------------||----------------     

         My name is ProAscii.  Maybe you have seen  
               o=o    My aunt, her name is Anti-Ansi. 
               |_|        {}/
     []    (]  |_|       -oo
    -==- -===             ||
-----ll-- H H--------------------------------         

   But this story isn't about her.  Its about you.  
               o=o     So we will have to say good bye
               |_|     to her now.
     []    (]  |_|                  {}
    -==- -===                  Bye   b
-----ll-- H H-----------------------/\-------

    So now we get down to the question you asked.
               o=o
               |_|
     []    (]  |_|
    -==- -=== 
-----ll-- H H--------------------------------

                      It can do wonderful things.
 This is a computer.  But, it can only do them if
               o=o    you know how to tell it what
               |_|    to do.
     []    (]  |_|    Since you Posted here I will 
    -==> -===         assume that you know enough to  
-----ll-- H H---------get by.---------------- 

       But this has me perplexed.  If you knew how  
               o=o    to find us here how come you  
     ,,        |_|    didn't know how to find your 
     []    (]  |_|    answer?
    -==- -===
-----ll-- H H--------------------------------

    I have an answer for you.  The sage Piller once
               o=o    said in response to the idea
               |_|    that something is always in
     []    (]  |_|    the last place you looked for
    -==- -===         it that one should look in the 
-----ll-- H H---------last place first.------ 

     Mind if I smoke?  Thanks.
               o=o
               |_|
   . []    (]  |_|
    -==- -===     
-----ll-- H H--------------------------------

     So why did you come here and not look in the last
               o=o    place?  Well, I shall tell you.
  o            |_|
   . []    (]  |_|
    -==- -===
-----ll-- H H--------------------------------
00
O                   You have fallen victim to the
 o             o=o    traditional American idea that
   .           |_|    you should always have things
     []    (]  |_|    done for you.  Well, this is Linux      
    -==- -===         we are talking about here.
-----ll-- H H--------------------------------              

OO  It requires a more worldly way of doing things.     
 oo            o=o    Like doing them your self.  But,
  o            |_|    since you have apparently not
   . []    (]  |_|    been breafed on this I will do it
    -==- -===         that for you now.
-----ll-- H H--------------------------------

OO   Here is how you do it.  You use this here computer     
 oo            o=o    and open a "browser" and go to         
  o            |_|    "website" called google.com.  If your  
   . "]    (]  |_|    question is a "how can i" type of       
    -==> -===         question then just move down to the next
-----ll-- H H---------seen.-------------------

         ['  On the part of the screen that looks like this.
          =  You just type in some of the keywords you would   
 ________/\__have put in a post_________________________  * Adva
         [ Google Search ] [ I'm Feeling Lucky ]          * Pref
                                                          * Lang

---------------------------------------------

      If its a "can I make $command do $function" 
 o             o=o    Then you will want to drop onto
  o            |_|    a "command line" which has a "prompt"
   . []    (]  |_|    And then you type man $command       
    -=/ -===         And wonder full amounts of information 
-----ll-- H H---------will show it's self to you.  Your      
              question will probibly be answerd there.


      Hmm my cig is dieing.                 
               o=o
   o           |_|
   . []    (]  |_|
    -==- -===      
-----ll-- H H---------------------------------

      Better step it out on the nice carpit.
               o=o
               |_|
     ']    (]  |_|
    -==- -===      
----./l-- H H---------------------------------        

      As I was saying:  if on the other hand your question 
               o=o    is a bit more on the "WTF" or "why 
               |_|    doesn't it" then try deja.com which
     []    (]  |_|    is actualy groups.google.com but you 
    -==- -===         will sound more elite if you say deja. 
-----ll-- H H---------------------------------

      And you can type those same words you were going to post 
      in the little box that I showed your before but this time you
      type in in the deja screen and not the google screen.
               o=o    
               |_|    
     []    (]  |_|
    -==- -===
-----ll-- H H---------------------------------

      Once you do that, and as your mother always told you:
               o=o    "look beneath the surface", then
               |_|    you will likely see that your question  
     []    (]  |_|    has already been answerd!
    -==- -===                          {}
-----ll-- H H--------------------------d ------------
                                       /\                      
      Now you too can be condicending to people to lazy to
               o=o    look for their own answers and instead
               |_|    post to groups without having looked
     []    (]  |_|    in the last place first!
     \=  -===                   {}
-----ll-- H H-------------------d -------------------
                                /\
       Now you know how to find the last placed you whould have
               looked.  And you can follow Piller's advice   
               o=o    and look their first next time.   
               |_| 
     []    (]  |_| Hay ProAscii want to fsck?
    -==- -===               {}
-----ll-- H H-------------  d -----------------------         
                            /\
      I could use a shag Anti-Ansi.  Good thing you aren't 
               o=o     my real aunt.  After dealing with 
               |_|     these lazy newbies I need some way to
     ["    (]  |_|     release this stress.
    -=/  -===         {}
-----ll-- H H-------  d -----------------------------
                      /\

              ["
              =\   {}
            ,//_//o\ 


-- 
+-(faux@fugozi)-(0.04|0.04|0.04)-(03:11|Mon Apr 22)-+ cat ~/.{sig,uin}
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
        - Andrew Jackson
UIN=66618055

Well, that's a rather long way to say RTFM but it's fun :)

BoD


"Faux_Pseudo" <Fau...@yahoo.comERCIAL> wrote in message
news:slrnac7ojb.pm.Faux_Pseudo@fugozi.cx1209071-a...
> I typed this up for future use but thought I should post it here for
> all you got get a kick out of.
>