Intercepted email about 'Uncle Bob'

Hemlock Holmes here. I intercepted a bit of email about the character
known as 'Uncle Bob'. Apparently, somebody was asking questions about
him, and I happen to get the answers.


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Date: Wed, 29 Mar 1995 00:44:23 -0600 (CST)
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> Please answer the following in as many or as few words as you would like!
>
> Bio Info:  Who is Uncle Bob anyway?

   Uncle Bob is a drunk who spends his money on cheap wine, and hangs out
at the library where he surfs the Internet until they throw him out.

> History of involvement with the Internet:

   He started surfing the Net when he was sober one day three years ago.
He hasn't been sober since.

> Why you started Uncle Bob's Kids' Page:

   Uncle Bob started the kids' page as community service so he wouldn't
have to go to jail for flashing in public.

> Other projects on-line:

   He says he wants to open a virtual massage parlor.

> Vision for the future of the Internet:

   Uncle Bob has halucinations instead of visions.

> Relative importance of international exchanges for children and adults:

   He says it depends on whose relatives they are, and he wants to know
what he can get in exchange for his kids?

> Thanks so much.

   You're welcome.  Just don't tell Uncle Bob I told you this.


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So there you have, the truth about 'Uncle Bob'. Who would have guessed
it? But it goes to show you that people aren't always what you think they
are.

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