Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 1 Feb 2000.
A Fish Story
alt.ascii-art
· 1 message · 1 Feb 2000
I'd created this for another newsgroup, but I feel like I could post
it here. Cross-posting between rec.games.board and alt.ascii-art
struck me as a bad idea, since the follow-ups would be of a very
different nature.
--brian
=-=-=
_ ___ _ ___
/_\ / __| |_ ___ _ _ _ _ | __|__ _ _
/ _ \ \__ \ _/ _ \ '_| || | | _/ _ \ '_|
/_/ \_\ |___/\__\___/_| \_, | |_|\___/_|
|__/_ _
_ _ ___ __ __ _ __ _ _ __ ___ ___ | |__ ___ __ _ _ _ __| |
| '_/ -_) _|_/ _` / _` | ' \/ -_|_-<_| '_ \/ _ \/ _` | '_/ _` |
|_| \___\__(_)__, \__,_|_|_|_\___/__(_)_.__/\___/\__,_|_| \__,_|
|___/
Once upon a time there was a happy pond. It wasn't all that small of
a pond, but it wasn't huge either. All sorts of fish lived in this
pond, and frolicked happily.
+---------------------------------+
| |
| Hello! ,oo-'/ ,oo^-'( |
| )_,-.\ --.__.' Nice to |
| \`--oo. _ see |
| /,-.__- ,oo-'< \`-oo. you! |
| =__,-'` /,-._O |
| |R
+---------------------------------+
One day, an eel came to visit the fish's pond. Nobody knew where he
came from, but his motives were clear.
+--------------------------------+
| |
| Hey, everybody! Check me out! |
| I am the biggest fish in this |
| little pond! |
| |
| ,Oo Huh? Whatever. |
| (;,< _ |
| \;. >`-oo ,oo-'/ |
| )' '`-.__= \_,-.\ |
| ' |
| |R
+--------------------------------+
The eel was relentless in his quests to make sure he was well known.
+----------------------------+
| |
| Did you hear !! |
| about Fred? No. Oo. |
| __ =,;) |
| \`-^oo. ,-oo-' / ,;/ |
| /,-.__( \=__,-.\ ,;/ |
| `( |
| |R
+----------------------------+
+----------------------------+
| |
| Who cares about Fred? |
| I am the biggest fish |
| in this little pond! |
| Oo. |
| Go away. >,;) |
| \`-^oo. __ .;/ |
| /,-.__- ,-oo-' / `( |
| \=__,-.\ ` |
| |R
+----------------------------+
The eel started annoying all of the fish, so many asked him to go
away. Some were more polite than others, but the eel's responses were
uniformly rude. Eventually, the fish started wondering what the eel
was even doing in their pond.
+------------------------------------------+
| |
| Would you please I live in the water. |
| leave our pond? This pond is water. |
| You don't seem I have a right to |
| to like it here. live here. |
| |
| \`---oo. Oo. .:;. |
| /,-.___( >;;;;' |
| |R
+------------------------------------------+
+-------------------------------------------------+
| |
| You know that this That bit off to the south |
| pond isn't really doesn't interest me. To |
| all that small? me, the pond is small. |
| |
| \`--^oo. Oo. ,.. |
| /,-.__o/ );;:::;;` |
| `'' |
| |R
+-------------------------------------------------+
+------------------------------------+
| |
| Oo. |
| You do realize that -,;) |
| you aren't the ,;/ |
| biggest fish, ,;/ Hmm. |
| right? `( Well, |
| __ __ if you |
| --/ .\/ .\ want to consider |
| ( \__/\__/_ fish that aren't |
| (( /___) eels. But who'd |
| ((((( \___) ever want to deal |
| ________/ with those kind of |
| fish? Not me. |
| |R
+------------------------------------+
+---------------------------------+
| |
| You know, you can make your own |
| pond to live in, whatever size |
| you'd like. |
| I can show That's |
| you how. stupid. |
| |
| \`---oo. Oo. .:;. |
| /,-.___( =;;;;;) ' |
| |R
+---------------------------------+
+---------------------------------+
| |
| ,Oo Boy, the water |
| (;,< in here sure is |
| \;. stinky! Who !!?! |
| )' would want to |
| ' live here? ,oo-'/ |
| O_,-.\ |
| |R
+---------------------------------+
So, the eel, who wanted to be a big fish in a small pond, moved into a
pond which wasn't all that small and was filled with bigger fish. He
didn't like the pond and he didn't like his neighbors. He might have
been a big fish if he behaved differently, or if he'd chosen a pond he
felt comfortable in. Why did he stay in this ill-chosen pond? We'll
never know.
Eventually, the fish learned to completely ignore the eel.
+----------------------------+
| |
| Guess what !! |
| Fred did now! Oo. |
| =,;) |
| \`-^oo. __ ,;/ |
| /,-.__( ,-oo-' / ,;/ |
| \=__,-.\ `( |
| |R
+----------------------------+
+----------------------------+
| |
| Who cares about Fred? |
| I am the biggest fish |
| in this little pond! |
| __ Oo. |
| ,-oo-' / >,;) |
| \`-^oo. \=__,-.\ .;/ |
| /,-.__- `( |
| Tell me ` |
| Ok, about Fred! |
| first, |
| this big ship came up... |
| |R
+----------------------------+
Not caring whether or not the eel confronted tourists, not caring
whether or not the eel packed up and moved away, not caring if the eel
shrivelled up and died, the fish all lived happily ever after.
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