Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art.animation, started 13 Oct 1998.
try this for $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
alt.ascii-art.animation
· 1 message · 13 Oct 1998
Derry52 wrote: >... > Subject: HOW TO MAKE $100,000 A MONTH LEGALLY (in a few minutes) > $$$ FOR YOUR RECIPES $$$ > Please do NOT change anything contained in this letter EXCEPT as > directed! > EARN AS MUCH AS $100,000.00 OR MORE IN 30 DAYS,LEGALLY! > EARN MORE THAN EXTRA MONEY!! YOU WILL BECOME FINANCIALLY > INDEPENDENT!! >... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Pie in the Sky by Matthew Thomas \~/ A long, long time ago, ,"\ I can still remember how those schemes used to make me / |_`. smile ... / (__ \ And I knew that if I ruled the world, J __) ) Then I would send those jerks to hell `.___|_,' And maybe I'd be happy, for a while ... _ _,-'/\ But bulk e-mailers made me shiver _,-',='/ \ Every second, they'd deliver \`---+'`-._\ Junk mail on my doorstep, \ / _,-' I couldn't take one more step ... \,-' ______ (_=o___) Until now, I've never tried | | To filter out that spam deep-fried | Diet | But something touched me deep inside | SPAM | The day, my server, died. (______) ,--. `_' So ... (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. /L. Do you have faith in MLM, /.L:`. And do you think Good Times will cause mayhem, /. J:::`. Because your e-mail tells you so? /. . L::::> Do you believe in pyramids /. . .J::,' Free Money, and all that stuff that kids /_______L' Circulate to make the Internet real slow? +-------------+ |# ad me | Well I know the Net is full of crime |`-# Re:ad me | 'Cause I get this spam stuff all the time |# EASY MONEY | But I can't just run away |# XXX PICS!! | Because I haven't checked Usenet yet today ... +-------------+ ,-. |66A I am a lonely teenage computer nerd /`'M\ With a dual boot of Linux and Hurd, (| `M\ But I foresaw the Reich of Gates the Third _>\ |M) The day, my server, died. '-_)=(_,' ,--. `_' I started singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. X Now for nigh on ten years we've been on our own ____/ \__o____ While the Web grows fat on it's commercial throne, /`-'\ T But that's not how it used to be; . / ) \ o While the gopher sang for academic jocks /`--/--'\ /\ In Veronica's closet and Archie's box, :`-./A_,-'/> U Tim invented the H T tepee ... And while Berners-Lee was looking down ,===-. Andreesen stole his thorny crown || \\ Enquire Within was adjourned || \ _ And a 404 was returned `==> [_] And while Oracular Priests gave out their marks / The Kibologists practised in the park R e l o a d And I sang a ditty in the dark The day, my server, died. ,--. `_' I was singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. \ | / With custom tags, and a file mime _ The browsers began to waste our time /|_)| |\ ||/ \ Eight megabytes high and growing fast; \|_)|_||\||\ / And as Id Est and the Lizard fought in the grass, The open-sourcers caught the pass / | \ With the Mosaic all in pieces, in the dust. Now the smell of Java was sweet perfume ,-. But the Borg was playing a fighting tune (_|L ) We all got ready to dance _`& `_ Oh, but we never got the chance ... \`"'|)) 'Cause the programmers tried to take the field _ L_J_ but the .java classes refused to yield ``-===-' ' Do you remember what Sun's tests revealed The day, the server, died. ,--. `_' We had been singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye OS, you're just pie in the sky , . We don't need you any more, so we'll kiss you goodbye _.-*-._ But the good old Borg were drinking decaf, and why? \_______/.-. 'Cause that would be the day that they die (__._._) That would be the day that they die. 1 (?) And meanwhile, ASCII artists in our places 2 ) A generation lost in tabs and spaces 3 .._o Trying to make our pics look right; 4 ..://\/ So keep your sigs to four lines or three 5 ..:_/\ And make sure that you use PGP 6 ..:/ 'Cause crypto is freedom's only friend ... And as I saw Bill on the screen and Steve on the stage /) My hands were clenched in fists of rage ,-.(/,-. This was worse than a spammer / / Where was that woman with her hammer? | ( And as the flames came flooding in \ _ > alt.silly.newsgroups.clogged.up.tin `-' `-' I saw the Borg wear an evil grin The day, my server, died. ,--. `_' I was singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. ,---. I met a girl, Emily Postnews /'_'_`\ And I asked for her to cure my blues, // ~<~`)\ But she just smiled and cancelled me; (( `-'/_ I went down to the cybercafe ) (-<\ Where I'd heard you didn't have to pay ,-' `.\\ But the man there said that the Net was down today ... Because the y2k had rolled around \ \ ,-./_ . And the Net had crashed into the ground , , \ ) And not a byte was spoken ( BOOM! ) ) The software all was broken ... ( / And the three men I admire most, ` / `-' \ ' Stallman, Linus, and the Oracular Ghost, / \ They took a Chevy to the coast, The day, our servers, died. ,--. `_' And they were singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye spam, you're just pie in the sky , . The Net is all gone, but let's not just cry _.-*-._ We can start again one day, if only we try \_______/.-. And I said, `That'll be the day that I die; (__._._) That'll be the day that I die'. ,--. `_' We're all singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye spam, you're just pie in the sky , . The Net is all gone, but let's not just cry _.-*-._ We can start again one day, if only we try \_______/.-. Even if that is the day that we die; mt-2 (__._._) Even if that is the day ... that we die'. Copyright (C) 1998 Matthew Thomas (with apologies to Don McLean). This work may be freely copied, forwarded, or otherwise reproduced, as long as this copyright message is included. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -- .._o Matthew Thomas (mpt26 @ student . canterbury . ac . nz) ..://\/ Visit my site: http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/ ..:_/\ Read my column in NewsRoom: http://www.newsroom.co.nz/ ..:/ Those damn succubi!
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