Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 19 Nov 2000.
[SC] off topic but topical
alt.ascii-art
· 1 message · 19 Nov 2000
___________________________________________________
| |
| OFFICIAL FLORIDA PRESIDENTIAL BALLOT |
| |
| Follow the arrow and punch the appropriate dot |
| |
| |
| BUSH -------------------------------------> O |
| |
| |
| NADER -----, ,---, ,-----------> O |
| | | | | |
| | | ,|--, | ,---, |
| GORE -----------, | | | | '-|-, '-----> O |
| '----------|------, | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
| BUCHANAN--------|--|--' | '----|-' ,----> O |
| | '---------|--|----' |
| '-------' '--' |
| |
|___________________________________________________|
Adapted from: Stellar Crisis World's Greatest Player Ballot
It appears that some people were confused by the above ballot and
casts invalid votes. Although there is some argument as to whether
people too stupid to punch a hole in the right place should be allowed
to elect
the President, most states have now agreed to turn to CAV (computer
assisted vote) for future elections. The only remaining question is
which
platform to use.
The Democrats have proposed a Windows(tm) implementation, based on an
algorithm written by Al Gore himself. Here is a demo of it:
,-+-------------------------------------------+-+-+-,
|-| CAVe-in v.1.0 Vote collection |_|O|X|
+-+-------------------------------------------+-+-+-+
|-| File Edit Vote Windows Help |
+-+-------------------------------------------------+
| |
| Select the candidate of your choice: |
| |
| [ ] Al Gore |
| [x] George W. Bush |
| [ ] Ralph Nader |
| [ ] Pat Buchanan |
| [ ] None of the above |
| |
| |
| ,------, ,------, ,------, |
| | Vote | | Exit | | Help | |
| '------' '------' '------' |
| ^ |
'-----------|---------------------------------------'
'Click'
,-+---------------------------+-+-,
|-| Confirm mouse operation |?|X|
+-+---------------------------+-+-+
| |
| |
| Do you really want to vote for |
| "George W. Bush" ? |
| |
| |
| ,-----, ,-----, |
| | Yes | | No | |
| -^---' '-----' |
'--------|------------------------'
'Click'
,-+------------------------------------+-,
|-| User Alert |X|
+-+------------------------------------+-+
| |
| |
| Warning: Bush is an incompetent moron. |
| Do you really mean to vote for him ? |
| |
| |
| ,-----, ,------, ,--------, |
| | Yes | | No | | Cancel | |
| -^---' '------' '--------' |
'------|---------------------------------'
'Click'
,-+--------------------------------+-,
|-| System Alert |X|
+-+--------------------------------+-+
| |
| |
| Voting for Bush may critically |
| endanger the system! |
| Do you still want to vote for him? |
| |
| ,-----, ,====, |
| | YES | | NO | |
| -^---' '====' |
'---------|--------------------------'
'Click'
,-+-----------------------------------------+-,
|-| Message Box |X|
+-+-----------------------------------------+-+
| |
| |
| Your vote was placed in the absentee queue. |
| It should be tallied within 45 days. |
| In case of problems, contact your retailer. |
| |
| ,------, |
| | OK | |
| '------' |
'---------------------------------------------'
The Republican Party on the other hand, favors a MacIntosh
implementation. Here is a preview of the beta version, which was
designed by George W. with the assistance of the world-famous electoral
expert Sloppodone Mistosevice:
___________________________________________
|=[]=====================================[]=|
|===========================================|
| |
| |
| Clique on the candidate of you're choice |
| |
| (o) *** GEORGE W. BUSH *** (recomended) |
| ( ) Ralph Neither |
| ( ) Pat Bucanon |
| ( ) Undecided |
'Click' -->( ) algore |
| |
| |
| ,------, ,--------, |
| | Vote | | Cancel | |
| '------' '--------' |
| |
'-------------------------------------------'
_____________________________________
/ \
| ~ Fatal system error -1673 |
| (#) You should exit all programs |
| and restart your computer |
| |
| ,-----------, ,---------, |
| | Vote Bush | | Restart | |
| `-----------' `---------' |
\_____________________________________/
Th.N. 2000
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Legal Disclamer
---------------
The above is a satyric cartoon intended for entertainment only. Its
contents do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer. Nor mine
for that matter. Maybe I should consider naturalization?
Rem...@stanford.edu
Spam bait: postmaster@localhost abuse@localhost root@localhost
admin@localhost
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