Fruit Cake

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                          Fruit Cake Recipe

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Here's my favourite recipe for fruit cake.

You'll need the following:  a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four
large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a
teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a
bottle of whisky.

   Sample the whisky to check for quality.

   Take a large bowl.  Check the whisky again.  To be sure it is the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.  Repeat.  Turn on the
electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add
one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

   Make sure the whisky is still okay.  Cry another tup.  Turn off
the mixer.  Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.  Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit gets stuck
in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

   Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.  Next, sift two cups
of salt. Or something.  Who cares?  Check the whisky.  Now sift the
lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Spoon.  Of sugar
or something.  Whatever you can find.

   Grease the oven.  Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.  Don't forget
to beat off the turner.  Throw the bowl out of the window, check the
whisky again and go to bed.



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