Re: Looking For JRO!

             the FAQ in the Hat
              a short story
               by MikeChat
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|_|                                            MJP|_|
          I sat and sat, and typed away
        to make a picture, its how I play
        but then this man, with floppy hat
         said to me "Dont you ASCII-Chat?"

         "Oh no good sir, I dont do that
            never will I ASCII chat."

        he smiled at me, and held his hat    
      and said "Surely you should ASCII chat."

                                  
            .--.                  
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 jro      ;_`-;_`.                 
            ~~  `~  
                                        
        "No no" said I "And that is that"    
            "Never will I ASCII chat.        
          First you have to read a FAQ,      
         and for VK's rules, have a knack    
        and Then you have to play her game,   
         'ASCII chat' is not the same."     
                                        
       "I see" said he, "You aren't a fan."  
        and then "I do, I would, I can,     
         you can too, it isn't hard"       
      with a flourish, he gave his card    
      he smiled at me, and held his hat    
    and said "Surely you could 'ASCII chat."
                                        
            .--.                  
           ///@'\          
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_______| |____/ /_________________
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 jro   ;_`-. ;_`.                 
         ~~    `~                 

     "Listen stranger" I started to say      
 "From all over the world, folks read AA-A,  
     they come to see the ASCII posts,       
   not to see the flames from VK's roasts.   
      They do not come for her attack,       
     They do not come to read her FAQ."       
      "No no" said I "And that is that,     ) 
         never will I ASCII chat."        ( 
                                    )     ))(
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        I read on his proffered card          'MJP| |
      "Visit ASCII Chat, it isn't hard"         ':| |
 below that "But don't forget to read the FAQ,
    you'll be asked questions, its a test    
      to see if you're among the best"       
   His fingers twitched, there on his hat.   
     "No no" I sighed "And that is that,     
          never will I ASCII chat.  
          
        Listen stranger, listen to me        
          my friends and I use IRC.          
      Thats where we are when "online"       
       Been doing so for quite a time,       
      making pictures, and having fun,       
       and then we colored every one.        
        We posted them for all to see        
         for all the folks on IRC."          

        "There we were, 'til one day,        
      a fine young fellow came our way.      
      he saw our posts, and had to say,      
    'You should post your work on AA-A'.     
      So off we went and got Free Agent      
     and posted some to see how it went.     
       We were newbies, plain to see,        
        that we were not on the IRC."        
                                             
       He turned his hat, in his hand        
       I there I saw stuck in the band       
         a worn out copy of the FAQ          
         edges torn, or folded back.         
        He looked at me with wary eye        
      and he said "But won't you try.."      
     "No no" I sighed "And that is that,     
          never will I ASCII chat."          
                  .--.             
                 /'@\\\    
                 (_/_/   
       .--.      /____\._          
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________________  | |  | | _______
                  |_|  |_|      
                 .'_;.-'_; jro 
                 ~'   ~~       

       "Look" I said "I will explain,        
       and save you your sad refrain,        
        to fuss and fight is VK's fun        
      she points her finger at everyone      
      and tells us all what she thinks       
       'this is bad, eww that stinks'        
   but show me stranger, where is her art,   
    her contribution, what is her part?"     
                                             
    "She is just nasty, its plain to see,    
       she is as nasty as she can be,        
      newbies post, but dont come back       
       they must tire of her attack."        
       He carefully folded up his FAQ,       
       and in his band he put it back. 
                                               
   "Don't get me wrong, I understand you,    
        a FAQ is needed, it is true,         
     but what one gets from VK's mouth,      
     is not but flaming, north or south.     
       And if you have a special day,        
       VK will flame it, its her way."       
           Or if one who ran away,           
        comes again to post and play         
         you know where VK will be,          
       posting replies, sans ObASCII,        
        spouting off her nasty hole.         
     She can't help it, she's a troll."      
                                             
         As he turned to walk away,          
        he had this last word to say,        
   "If only at first you had read the FAQ,   
     VK would have no grounds to attack"     
         Jauntily he doffed his hat,         
     with the weathered, plume like FAQ.     
      I called out, "Just so you know,       
      my answer still, as always 'no'.       
         No and no and that is that          
          Never will I ASCII chat."          
  .-.                                               .-.  
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