Talk-Line: Music staffs

On 10 Jan 1996, Bob Allison wrote:

>    For some time I have been using this as a sig in music newsgroups.  I 
> is the result of many diddlings.
> 
>                      |\                         __3__              |
> ____|) ______________|\\ ________| ____________' _| _` __| ________| __| _____
> ____| ___3_|________@'_\| _|_____| ________|___| _| _| __| |_,@ ___| __| __|__
> ___/|. __-_|___| _______| _|_____| __,@ ___|__@'_@'_@'___| |_| ___@'___| __|__
> __( ( ) _4_|___| ______@'__|____O'___| ____|____________@'_|_| _______@'___|__
> ___`|'_____|___| __________|_________| ____|_______________|_| ____________|__
>    (|         O'                     |                            bob...@wwa.com
 

As a trained musician I would like to suggest that you contact your local
music practitioner for a checkup.  You appear to be due for your
next "music refresher course".  

The example you give does not conform to the standards set out in the
latest International College of Music "Guide to Correct Musical
Composition and Note Making".  

Firstly, your bars do not all contain the equivalent of three crotchets: 

   BAR No.   CONTENTS                     BEATS
                              __ 
              |              |  |
     1       O'             @' @'       =    3
             

              |              |       
     2       O'             @'          =    3
                 
               _3_
              | | |   |
     3       @'@'@'  @'                 =    2


              |       |      |    
     4       @'      @'     @'          =    3

This is only allowable in Gregorian Chant (which all modern musicians 
know is stupid music anyway) and some lawless varieties of Jazz, which 
deliberately don't conform to the prescribed forms.


Secondly,  it is illegal to leap over the octave in a melodic line, 
especially when the interval is a ninth and it is not resolved onto the 
octave immediately.

Thirdly, the piece is written in A minor and you have failed to include a 
G# in the key signature.

Fourthly, except for the initial minum, all the notes come from the tonic
chord. 

Fifthly, speaking of the initial mimum, which we were, it comes on a 
strong beat but the pitch is not a member of the tonic, or even of the 
dominant chord.  

Fifthly, you repeat notes across the bar line without ties.

Sixthly, the beginning does not sound like one and the end comes on a 
weak beat.

Seventhly, as a somewhat minor point [since we were talking about minor
things), your melody has even less melodic merit than Gregorian Chant. 



How about the following for slightly more meritorious compositions?



The Blue Da-nube:

                da    DA  da  da   DUM           da    DA      da   DUM
   _________________________________________|) __,@____,O___________________
 ||__.-.________|__|___|______,@__|__,O_____| ___|___|_|______,@__|_,O____|_||
 ||_(._ ):_3____|__|___|__,@__|___|__|_____/|. __|___|_|______|___|_|_____|_||
 ||___ /___4___@'__|__@___|___|___|__|____( ( )______|________|___|_|_____|_||
 ||________________|______|_______|________`|'_______|____________|_______|_||
                                           (|



  Original compost-ition.

   ___|) ________________,@________________________________________________
 (|___| _______|__,@_____|___|__'O___________|___|________'@___|_'O.______|_||
 ||__/|. __3___|__|__,@__|___|__|_______,@___|___|___,@___|____|_|________|_||
 ||_( ( ) _4___|__|__|_______|__|_______|____|__@'___|____|____|_|________|_||
 ||__`|'_______|_____|_______|__________|____|_______|_________|__________|_||
 ||  (|                                                                   | ||
{ |                                                              -0-.     | ||
 ||______________________________________________________________|________|_||
 ||__.-._______|___|_________|__,O___________|___|________,@___|_|________|_||
 ||_(._ ):_3___|___|_____,@__|__|_______,@___|___|________|____|__________|_||
 ||___ /___4___|__O'_____|___|__|_______|____|__O'________|____|__________|_||
 (|____________|_________|___|__________|____|_________________|__________|_||



P.S.  Please feel free to post whatever bits of this you feel are 
post-worthy.
 
Rosemary from the Far Side
           
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  = = = -,.       l     r  i  u
= = =I 0   \      a     i  l  a
= = =  + - D )    d  @  w  a  .
= = =I 0   /      n     y  i  z
  = =  - '`       y     a  d  o
    =  = o *      l     h  .  .