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Original Usenet message from alt.ascii-art, 25 Nov 1997.
Dust Off Your Funny Bone

Dust Off Your Funny Bone

Welcome To...           _______ _
                       |__   __| |
                          | |  | |__   ___
                          | |  | '_ \ / _ \
 .-.     _      ______    | |  | | | |  __/    ____
(   `. .' )    |  ____|   |_|  |_| |_|\___|   |  _ \
 `\   ` .'     | |__ _   _ _ __  _ __  _   _  | |_) | ___  _ __   ___ 
   |   |       |  __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | |  _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
   |   |       | |  | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | |  __/
   | 66|_      |_|   \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
   |  ,__)                              __/ |                         
   |(,_|                               |___/
   | |
   | \_,       This is a sample of the humor and art of The Funny Bone,
   |   |       a free weekly e-mailing of jokes and funny stories, il-
   |   |       lustrated with the original ASCII artwork of Joan Stark.
 .'     \      If you enjoy this and would like to have The Funny Bone
(    ,   )     e-mailed to you each week, free of charge, then follow
 '--' '-'      the subscription instructions in the signature.

                             Who Were The Pilgrims?

 This is a selection from a book called "Then Some Other Things
 Happened", a collection of short pieces about history written by eighth
 graders and compiled by Bill Lawrence, a teacher and columnist.
                                                              .:.
                                                          .:. \|/  .:.
 The Pilgrims were a         _               \\,///       \|/  |   \|/
 bunch of English          _/_\_   ___       \\|///    <#> |  \|<#> |
 wonderers who              (")   /.-.\       (")\\       \|<#>|/  \| /
 wanted to        _        //U\\  |(")|      //-\\\        |  \| /<#>/
 worship as      ( )   _   \|_|/  /)v(\  <#>_/|_|/\\     \ |/  |/  \|
 they wanted    (_` )_('>   | |   \/~\/       |||\\\      \|   |    |/
 to.  They      (__,~_)8    |||   //_\\       ||| \\       |/ \| / \| /
 escaped     jgs   _YY_    _[|]_ /_____\     _[|]_        \|   |/   |/
 the Church  """"""""'""'""'"""""'""""'""'"""'"""""''"'"""^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 of England
 and came over here because they heard that American churches were dif-
 ferent.  The May Flower was the ship with which they came in. It didn't
 have a bathroom on board so there was quite an odor.  Priscilla Mullins
 was the captain.

 First the Pilgrims had gone to Holland but left when their children
 started developing customs there. After a stopover at Williamsburg when
 a large storm blew them off course they landed on a big, slimey rock in
 Massachusetts.  They spent the winter there.
 
 Before they got off the ship even they drew up an agreement for the
 people of Plymouth to agree on the voting for governors and congress-
 men.  They kept this hid in the May Flower Compact.  Lord Delaware was
 elected the first governor of Plymouth Rock.
                                       
         .-""""-._.'|                  A friendly Indian named Rhone Oak
        /     '.|   |                  showed the Pilgrams how to plant
       /        |   /        (         corn by putting it in the ground.
      |      -= |  /|         )  (             
      |         |/`< )            )            Rhone Oak had been the
      ;       -=|  _|         ______           first Indian to come to
       \        \  /        .'      `. /)      America and always wanted
        '._ _.-""-.<      .'          `\/)     a beer.  He traveled
          / /      \     / ___     .--'`/|     around with Miles Standy
       _ / |        '-._( ____\   (____/_/=,   and translated language.
      ( \|  \      -=/  /--;==============`    He knew enough English to
    ._,;'\==='-,..__/__/__.'                   interupt.
   `'--/,/     || '  \         
      / |  /   ||  '  \        Another interupter for the white man was
      \/  .    ||      ;       Squanto, who was called that because he
 jgs  /   /    ||      |       was so short.  Squanto drew up a declara-
     |  .      ||      |       tion to give the settlers freedom of
     /         '=------|       goverment in the new land.  The Pilgrams
    / '    ;      ;   ;|       gave the Indians thanks for all this and
   `-.___.___.___.___._/       that's what started Thanksgiving.

 The Pilgrams then appointed      |     But if these people wouldn't
 Thanksgiving as a national       |      had of come to America the
 holiday.  Abraham  Lincoln       |       United States wouldn't  
 later pronounced it and gave     |    \       be like it is       /
 it to them and it soon became    |     `I=.       today.      .=I`
 a national holiday all around    |     /|\ `"=I._       _.I="` /|\
 the world.                       |    |/|\|  /|\ `"=I="` /|\  |/|\|
                                  |    |/|\| |/|\|  /|\  |/|\| |/|\|
 These people always wore old     |    |/#\| |/|\| |/|\| |/|\| |/#\|
 shoes with a big buckel on the   |    |###| |/#\| |/|\| |/#\| |###|
 top of them.  The men wore       |     \#/  |###| |/#\| |###|  \#/
 pants that only came a little    |      `    \#/  |###|  \#/    `
 ways past the knees and the      |            `   |###|   `    jgs
 girls wore funny bonets.         |                 \#/
                                                     `
                                                             _     .-. 
           John Nunley <jok...@funnybone.com>           ( `. .'   )
                                                             `. `   /'
       Write to <sam...@funnybone.com> to learn more           |   |
       about the Funny Bone and to have subscription           |   |
        instructions automatically e-mailed to you.           _|66 |
                                                             (__,  |
        For more humor, visit the Funny Bone Website           L_,)|
                http://www.funnybone.com                         | |
                                                               ,_/ |
                 ASCII Art by Joan Stark                       |   |
            http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/                |   |
                                                              /     '.
   The Funny Bone is powered by a GoSite Internet Server     (   ,    )
               http://www.funnybone.com/gs               jgs  '-' '--'

Original message headers
X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit
X-Google-Thread: f996b,e1c929a4610a7d91
X-Google-Attributes: gidf996b,public
From: John Nunley <nun...@goodnet.com>
Subject: Dust Off Your Funny Bone
Date: 1997/11/25
Message-ID: <347...@goodnet.com>
X-Deja-AN: 292695995
Reply-To: nun...@goodnet.com
Organization: GoodNet
Newsgroups: alt.ascii-art
About this message. This message was posted publicly to the newsgroup alt.ascii-art in 1997 and is mirrored here unchanged as part of the Historic Archives – only email addresses are masked. The artwork and text belong to their original authors: if you copy a piece, keep the artist's initials or signature intact and credit them where you can. Are you the author? Contact us to get your posts attributed, connected to your artist profile, or removed.

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