Testing tested tester taught --- test

    I want everyone to know I have a new keyboard.  The other one done burnt
out, as I was typin' an E-type letter to my Congressman, and I think it objected
to my use of adjectives.  I knew something was wrong, when the letters "u" and
"m" and "n" just quit.  The letter "f" started to repeat itself, over and over.
The letters "d" and "s" and "h" and "c" would only make the asterisk character.
These malfunctions began to cramp my fluid, lingustic style.  The letter looked
like this:

Dear Rep. Colbert,

     J  *t w*at t*e ffffffff *k *o yo  t*i k yo  are *oi g?  I'll tell
yo  w*at t*e *ell I t*i k yo  ffffff  *ki g *o gre** e are fffffff *oi g,
yo 're fffffff *ki g  p t*e w*ole *a  *o  try, yo  lazy, goo* fffffor
 ot*i g, *orry *  t * *i g twit*.  I get real *a   a*, *t i* ki g abo
 t w*at yo *on*abit*** are *reami*g  p to fffffff *k  p  ext. **it o
 t*e w*ole *a  fffffff       .......

    See what I mean?  Lousy foreign-made keyboards are just no good.  Cheap
junk.  I got this good mechanical one, now.  Made in singapore.  Lifetime
warranty.  The *o offffffa fffffffff *k  g  ba*  t*&# at the shop said it
would type 300 words a minute, if I could.  Well, he was wrong.  It will
only do 280, but I guess that will have to do.

    Anyway, I didn't bother posting this to alt.test because I knew
everyone would be so happy to know that I got this here new keyboard.
Any tips on running it will be appreciated, as usual.

    Oh, and I never set my wrap-around, because I usually can say what
I need to, in three words or less.

    Hmmmmmmm....... I hope this ffffff_)(*&@# piece of s^#@_)z43
isn't going to fffffffff*(^%$21 quit on me, too.  Da059#!4 %$unk.

    More updates, as needed......

                                JRO
       ogl...@mail.fullnet.net-removetoreplyifyouarebraveenoughtodoso


hic!

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